Go: A Sequel to Stay: A Rucas Fanfic
by onceuponatime2011
Summary: This is the sequel to "Stay". A little over three years later, Lucas and Riley seem as close as ever, but what happens when it seems like their dreams are pulling them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: This is the sequel to "Stay: A Rucas Fanfic". Takes place a little over three years after "Stay". Again, this is Rucas centric, but there is Joshaya in there as well. Reviews are welcome, flames are not. Thanks for reading! :)_**

* * *

Riley Matthews sprinted out of her abnormal psychology class. She broke out into a run as soon as she left the building. She ran three blocks before reaching her dorm. She ran up two flights of stairs and unlocked her room in one swift motion and hurried inside. "Sorry, I'm late, Maya," she began as she closed her door and turned around, "Class ran late and I—oh my GOD," she yelled as she covered her eyes. "Oh my God," she repeated, "I think I'm blind! I told you guys that I'm ok with you dating as long as I didn't see naked body parts." She threw her bags on the ground, while keeping her eyes covered with one of her hands.

Maya laughed as she reached for her discarded shirt on the floor, "Sorry, Riles. I guess time got away from us."

"Well, I guess so," she replied, her face flushed, "Does he have his shirt back on," she used her free hand to wave in their general direction.

Maya giggled and looked at her boyfriend. "Aww come on Riles, he's so cute when he's shirtless."

"Ew, ew, ewwwwww," Riley shrieked. She felt like she was going to vomit. "He's not when he's your uncle! Josh, come on!"

"Sorry, Riley," he smiled sheepishly.

"You can look now, Riley. We are both fully clothed," Maya laughed again.

Riley slowly put her hand down, peeked with one eye open, then opened both eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Ok, good. Are you ready to go to the airport? We are going to be late!"

Maya stood up and smoothed out her clothes. "Calm down. Flights get delayed all the time. I'm sure we will get there before it lands."

* * *

Riley fidgeted as she, Maya, and Josh stood at the gate. Two years into their college careers, Riley and Lucas had mutually decided that Lucas should finish his undergraduate degree in Texas. Riley never felt comfortable with the fact that he had stayed, despite his assurances that she was only part of the decision. She had already almost talked him into returning when his grandfather's health suddenly deteriorated. They had a long discussion about their future and about their present. Riley was finally able to convince Lucas to apply as a transfer into the program. He got in, of course, and miraculously, was only a semester behind in his studies. Summer classes had helped Lucas almost catch up with the rest of his class. He was also able to keep an eye on things at his grandfather's ranch, with the help of his uncle. To Riley, the decision was a no brainer. Lucas grew up on the ranch…she knew he had to be there to help everyone stay on track with taking care of the animals and the crops. It took some adjustments, but things were starting to become more normal. Of course she missed him and was only able to see him twice in the last year and a half. Lucas was initially concerned about their relationship, since school and working on the ranch took up so much of his time, but Riley insisted that they were solid. Their relationship had developed even further over the last two years, and Riley felt closer to him than ever. Her prior fears of losing him due to a long distance relationship had all but disappeared.

Riley held the sign that she always brought with her to the airport so they would be easily noticed by the departing passengers. "Riley, calm down."

"I can't," she exclaimed. "Maya, it's been 152 days. It's been forever."

"She counts the days," Josh asked Maya as he put his arm around her waist.

"She counts the seconds," Maya replied.

"Aww, that's cute, Riley," Josh teased.

"Whatever," Riley replied. "You would do the same for her." When she saw her uncle shrug, she rolled her eyes. "Oh please. I've been around you two enough for the last two years to know how you feel about…" she trailed off as she saw the greenest eyes she had ever seen. She threw her sign at Maya and Josh as she broke off into a run. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy," she yelled as she jumped into her boyfriend's arms.

Lucas grinned as he dropped his bags to pick up his girlfriend. Their lips met for a long, sweet kiss as they embraced. "Hey, princess," he greeted.

She jumped out of his arms, and hugged him again. "Hey, mad dog," she giggled.

Maya and Josh walked up behind Riley, Josh holding Riley's "Lucas 'Mad Dog' Friar" sign. Lucas laughed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"It's tradition now," Maya replied. "Kind of like Ranger Rick." Once Riley let go of Lucas, Lucas shook Josh's hand and hugged Maya. "How was your flight?"

"Good. Long, but good."

"But you're here now," Riley beamed. Lucas bent down to grab one of his bags as Josh grabbed the other. Riley reached for Lucas's free hand.

"Yeah, but not for as long as we had originally planned."

Riley's smile fell. "W-what?"

He looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I got offered an internship with the chair of the department. Everyone has been competing for it and it's practically a guarantee that I'll get into the program next fall."

"Congratulations." She tried to give him a smile despite her disappointment. "When are you leaving?"

"I start on Monday." Lucas held his breath. He knew that she would be upset. He was upset when he found out. He knew that he had to take the opportunity. It was all for his future…their future. Hopefully she would understand. She was always understanding. They had only been able to see each other twice since he started school in Texas, both trips lasting about a week. He knew that it was taking a toll on Riley. It had to have been. It was starting to frustrate him as well, and he was the reason they weren't able to see each other more.

Riley stopped walking. It took the others a few steps to realize she fell behind. Lucas walked back to her while Maya and Josh lingered behind. "Monday? As in three days from now?!"

Lucas cringed. "I'm sorry. I didn't find out about it until this morning. I got the call while I was waiting to board my flight."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You were supposed to stay for six weeks. Winter break."

"Hey," he placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. "I'm sorry. No one is more disappointed than I am. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Riley nodded. When Lucas held out his hand to her, she took it. When she saw him turn to Josh and Maya, she quickly wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes. Being the understandable girlfriend sucked sometimes.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Sorry for the wait. I wanted to try to get most of this written before posting just in case I had to change up some things for continuity. Right now the story is well over 20,000 words...I'm just trying to polish up the chapters before I post them. Most chapters will definitely be longer than these first 2 are. I plan to update at least once a week like I did with "Stay". I'm planing on finishing up chapter 3 ASAP, so look for another update if not tonight, then hopefully this weekend. :)**_

 _ **Also, all of the reviews for "Stay" and the first chapter of "Go" have been very encouraging for me. I can't believe I already have most of this written, and I have all of you to thank for it. The reviews/favorites/follows encourage and inspire me so much. I can't thank you guys enough.**_

* * *

Chapter Two

"Farkle wanted to be here to greet you," Riley began as they entered Farkle's apartment, "He had to go to class this afternoon though. He had some sort of presentation."

Lucas sat his keys on the kitchen counter. "Yeah, he sent me a text this morning. I'm just glad he decided not to get another roommate."

"Oh please, Ranger Rick. We all know that's your room. Even if you're never here to use it." Maya flopped down on the couch and turned the tv on. "Believe me. I've tried getting Farkle to let me live here."

Riley rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't leave me alone in the dorm."

"We both could move in. That room is big enough for two beds." Maya flipped through the channels for a few minutes before finally giving up and turning the tv off.

Riley considered it for a moment. "You have a point." She looked back at Lucas. "But then where would Lucas stay when he does visit?"

"Sofa city," Maya grinned at Lucas.

"You know you can stay there whenever you want to," he told them as he went to put his bags in his room. "The room should get used."

"It gets used," Maya yelled so he could hear her. "Riley sleeps over all the time."

"Because you TWO take over my room." Riley walked out of the room, and into Lucas's room. "You really don't want those two over here. You'd have to buy a new bed every time you came to the city…cause they're always all over each other. I'm glad Maya's happy, but…" she shuddered. She moved to sit on the bed as she watched Lucas unpack for a few minutes. "How's it going?"

He walked over to her and kissed her sweetly. "Better now," he smiled as he returned to unpacking.

"How was your last final is what I meant, Dr. Friar," she watched him for a moment. He seemed distracted.

"I'm not one yet, Riley. Not even sure if I got into the program." He sighed.

"You're going to get in," she told him. "I wouldn't have kicked you out of New York last fall if I thought for one second that you wouldn't. And besides, you got this internship now…that's a great sign that you'll get in." Yep, that was Riley…the eternal optimist.

"I know." He closed his dresser and turned to look at her. "Have I told you lately how much I love you for doing that?"

"Once or twice," she smiled. "It's tough sometimes, but this way, we both get what we want. Together." She sighed. "Just wish we could see each other more, but don't worry…I understand." She was starting to feel like a broken record. It felt like every conversation they had lately had her saying that she understood. She understood that he wouldn't be able to face time for a few days because of finals, she understood that he wasn't coming home this time because there was an issue with one of the horses on the ranch, she understood that he didn't text her all weekend because he was stuck in the library all weekend with Nick, his lab partner. She truly wasn't mad about any of it, because it was just the way life was for them right now. That didn't mean that she wasn't disappointed though.

Lucas walked over to Riley and sat next to her on the bed. "I know it's tough. I hate that we are 2000 miles away from one another."

She shrugged. "We're making it work." _'Sorta,'_ she thought to herself. "It makes being together that much better, right?"

He leaned into her and grinned, "Absolutely." His lips met her's. God he missed this…missed being this close to her. It was so hard being apart for so long. The only person he wanted to see after a long day in class or on the ranch was her. It was beginning to drive him crazy. He leaned Riley back to lay on the bed. "I really missed you," he said softly.

"Hey, did you guys hear m—Oh my God," Maya yelled, covering her eyes. "Close a door!"

Lucas and Riley sat up, both smoothing out their clothes. "We were just kissing," Riley told her, her cheeks flushed.

Maya still kept a hand over her face to block them out. "Yeah…I don't want to see you two horizontal on a bed. He's like my brother. Gross!" She shuddered.

"Now you know how it feels," Riley laughed as she got off the bed and walked toward her best friend. She grabbed Maya's hand and pulled it away from her face. "Since you ruined that moment, what's up?"

"What time is your gig?"

"Oh crap," Riley groaned. "I forgot all about that!"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "You have a gig tonight?"

Riley looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. It got booked before I knew exactly when you were coming back and it completely slipped my mind when we picked you up. If you want me to, I can try to cancel or tell John to take care of it for me since you're only here for a few days."

"John." Lucas involuntarily clenched his jaw. Sure he seemed like a nice enough guy, but if Lucas were being completely honest, he was jealous of John. He got to see a side of Riley that Lucas didn't completely know or understand. Riley had always enjoyed music, but they weren't together when she first discovered mixing, and John was the one who brought that side out in Riley. She always seemed to brush it off around him, but when she was around John, her eyes would light up discussing new artists and tracks. It was a side of her that only John seemed to understand.

"Don't get jealous, Ranger Rick," Maya grinned.

"You know he helps me set everything up," Riley said. "And this is helping me pay for school."

"Beats being an RA or any other typical low paying job for people our age," Maya added. "Plus she's making a ton of money."

Riley shrugged.

Maya nudged her. "Don't be modest, Riles. You're the hottest thing in New York."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm just doing it for fun, Maya. It's not my career."

"I would kill for talent like that. You're making more now than I ever will as an art teacher."

"It's ok for now, but I want to do something else with my life…something important." She looked over at Lucas who had gone back to unpacking. "Do you want me to cancel it?"

He looked over at the girls. "No, let's go. It's been awhile since I've seen you DJ. Let's get everyone together and go. I could use a night out."

"It's pretty much an every weekend thing around here," Josh added, walking into the room.

"We're young, ok? We deserve to enjoy the nightlife in the best city on earth. And besides," she put her arm around Riley, "I'm always there for my girl."

Riley laughed. "You just like the free drinks."

"Don't we all?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Since Riley, John, and Josh had to get there early to set up, Maya, Lucas, and Farkle decided to all go together. They showed up a little later than they had initially planned because it took Maya an hour just to figure out what to wear. The club was already getting a little crowded, but Maya seemed to know her way around as she made a beeline toward the bar.

"Wow," Lucas remarked as he saw all the club goers. "Does she play places like this all the time?"

"Most weekends," Maya told him as the trio reached the bar. "Doesn't she tell you?"

He shrugged, "She tells me she has gigs, but not that they're like this. I just thought it was just stuff on campus still." He looked at the bartender. "Blue Moon," he pulled his wallet out.

"It's on the house since we're with Riley." Maya turned to another bartender and ordered.

Lucas took out a few singles and put it in the tip jar. "Thanks," he told him, taking the beer. "So, we get free drinks for just being with her?"

Farkle nodded. "She's getting to be pretty popular around here. Josh told us that every club in New York wants to book her. He's trying to set her up with a few different shows around the holidays. She wasn't going to do it though."

"Why?"

Maya faced Lucas. "Because you're here…well, we thought you'd be here anyway. She wanted to spend all of her time with you. She wasn't kidding when she said that she didn't care about this. She likes doing it, but she doesn't think it's a big deal." She smiled as the bartender gave her a rum and coke. "Thanks," she said before turning back to Lucas. "She told me as soon as she stops having fun, she's going to walk away from it."

Lucas took a sip of his beer as he looked around. It seemed to be a good mix of men and women here, but part of him seemed a little uneasy about it all. When he lived in the city, Riley would DJ some greek parties and some other functions on campus, nothing major. Nothing quite like this. It was a side of her that she never really talked about. He had even begun to think that she quit doing it. She just never mentioned it to him. "How is she doing," he finally asked.

"I'm taking care of her for you. I promised you that I would," Farkle smiled at his friend.

"She's good," Maya added. "We're having fun…not too much though. Well….not always anyway," she laughed. "We do like going out, enjoying the city." She paused. "It takes her mind off of you. She really misses you."

"I miss her too," he looked down for a moment before looking back up at Maya. "Are you guys drinking a lot?"

"She doesn't drink that much. Josh goes with us all the time since he's her agent. Farkle and John come too. We always have a group. I wouldn't put her in a dangerous situation. Neither would Josh."

He nodded. "I know that, Maya. I just wish…that I was here with her."

She took a sip of her drink. "You need to be in Texas. We all know that. You both are working for your future."

He looked around again. The club was getting even more crowded. "I feel like I'm missing a lot."

"You're missing out…not missing a lot though." The group headed toward the VIP area. "Ah, I love the perks to having your best friend be the hottest thing in the city." She plopped down on one of the sofas. "Now we don't have to deal with that crowd. Gets a little claustrophobic."

"And we get a great view of the stage," Farkle added.

"Free drinks, free vip…do I really get paid to do this," Josh asked as he and John walked toward the group. Josh took a seat next to Maya while John stood next to Farkle.

"How is she," Farkle asked.

"She's…nervous," Josh replied, cutting his eyes over to Lucas.

"She's never nervous," Farkle furrowed his brows in confusion. He looked over at Maya and Lucas. "Why would she…oh. Right."

"Why," Lucas asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that you're here," Maya told him. "You haven't seen her do this in two years." She looked towards the stage as she saw Riley start to walk out. "Oh, it's starting. There's our girl," she stood up and walked up beside Lucas.

Riley came out on the stage, her hands shaking nervously. The lights were dim, but Lucas could tell that she was wearing short sequined shorts. When the lights came on, he saw what else she was not wearing. She had a black halter top on that plunged a lot lower than Lucas thought it should. Her gold shorts barely covered her butt, and she wore thigh high black leather boots. She had a fedora on which covered half of her face. She smiled as she slipped her headphones on over her right ear. Lucas thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

"Looks hot, doesn't she," Maya yelled at Lucas.

When Lucas was finally able to form a thought, he turned to face her. "Tell me these are your clothes."

Maya shook her head. "Nope, all Riley. I did help pick them out though."

"WHAT?!" He snapped his head back to look at his girlfriend.

Maya laughed at him. It was obvious to her what that outfit was doing to him. "She only wears stuff like this when she DJs. Part of the mystery."

She's not hiding much of anything, so I wouldn't call it a mystery," Lucas growled.

"Wow. You mad, Huckleberry?" Maya couldn't help but grin at him. He had always been so protective over her.

"She's fine, Lucas," Farkle interjected. "She's still our Riley."

* * *

In between sets, Riley couldn't quite make her way to her friends. People kept going up to her wanting to talk and buying her drinks. If she were being completely honest with herself, Riley would say that she was definitely tipsy by the end of her final set. Thankfully it didn't affect her mixes, but she was definitely buzzed. It was nearly one in the morning before she was finally able to see her friends.

She gave Lucas a big hug once she reached their table. "Sorry. I tried to come over earlier, but I kept getting pulled away. So…what did you think," she beamed.

"Uh…it was good," he hesitated, giving her a small smile. To be honest, he felt very overwhelmed by the whole thing. Playing clubs most weekends, wearing what she was wearing. He was jealous. He wish he knew this side of her.

Riley's smile faltered slightly, "You didn't like it."

"I did. You did a great job," he kissed the top of her head.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied.

Riley frowned. She wasn't exactly sure of what kind of reaction Lucas would have; he hadn't seen her DJ in over two years, and never in this type of setting. She had hoped for some type of reaction though. It bothered her that he just seemed indifferent to the whole thing. She didn't have time to pursue it further as Maya ran up to her and hugged her. "You were fantastic," she squealed.

"Awesome job, Riley," Josh said as he hugged his cousin. "I'll be right back. I need to go settle up."

"I'm so glad you're my agent. That's the worst part." She saw him walk toward the bar. She looked over at John. "How was it?"

John grinned at her before giving her a hug. "Amazing, Riley. You're a lot better than I ever was. The crowd was feeling everything you were playing, especially those transitions."

"You think? What about the transition from Miley to Simple Minds? I wasn't sure about throwing the 80s in like that, but you know I can't resist my John Hughes soundtracks."

He shook it head, "It was perfect. The crowd loved it. The 80s are making a comeback."

She grinned at him. Sometimes she second guessed some of her more ambitious mixes. That was one reason she loved having John around. He always gave her constructive feedback about it, and he was usually right. She noticed Farkle next to her. "Thanks for coming, Farkle. How was the presentation?"

"Nailed it," he smiled as she hugged him. "You did a great job, Riley! I think everyone had a blast tonight."

"Almost," she mumbled, glancing over at Lucas, who seemed to be engaged in a deep conversation with Maya.

* * *

"Ok, what did I do," Riley asked when she and Lucas were finally alone in his room. It was nearly four in the morning.

"Nothing," he said as he walked toward the bed.

Riley took her hat off and threw it like a Frisbee across the room, her frustration growing. "No. You don't get to do that…just brush it off. Tell me, Lucas. What did I do? Everyone seemed to like the sets I did…except you. What did I do? Am I just that bad? What?" She put her hands on her hips.

Lucas sat down on his bed and started to take his shoes off. "It just would've been nice if you wore some clothes," he said, eyeing her outfit again.

Riley looked down at her outfit. That was what was bothering him? What she wore? "Ok, so what do you call this?"

"Leaving very little to the imagination," he quipped.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Half of the girls in that place weren't even wearing half of what I'm wearing."

He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn't seem to help it. "I don't care about them. I care about you."

"I'm fine." She stumbled a little as she leaned down to unzip her boots. After a moment, she slid the boots off and kicked them to the corner.

Lucas looked down at his hands. "What if something happens and I'm not here to protect you?"

"Josh always comes to my shows, Farkle comes, John is always there too. And there is security around too. I'm fine. We always have a group there. There has never been an issue with anything. I'm fine." When he didn't respond, Riley walked over to him and knelt in front of him. "Look at me." She held his face in her hands so they were eye-to-eye. "You know…doing this helps…the whole DJ thing. I miss you so much when you aren't here. It's pretty pathetic how I act when you aren't around. I come here and sleep in your bed and try to pretend that you're here. I smell your scent on the sheets, your body wash, your shampoo." She looked away for a moment before looking back into his eyes. "One reason I am DJing is because it gets me out of the funk I find myself in when you're gone. Music has always allowed me to escape reality for a little while. Look…" she moved her hands down to hold his, "I love you. This is not a career for me. This is me passing time, making some money, and having some fun. Nothing bad is going to happen. I'm around a lot of people who are protecting me." When he still didn't say anything, she gave him a small smile. "Remember when we broke up and Maya and Farkle kept you away from me? Well, I have even more people around me now who make sure nothing gets to me." She leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "I love you so much. I'm so glad you're here."

Lucas leaned forward and kissed her again. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it softly. "Riley, I want you to have fun. I loved watching you up there. You look so happy. And obviously, you're very good at it. Everyone there had a blast tonight. I want you to keep doing it." He saw Riley look away and shake her head. He sighed. "Riley, you enjoy DJing. Don't let me be the reason that you aren't happy. You love this. If this helps you…makes you happy…then I support it."

"It's not important." She ran a hand through her hair.

"Yes, it is."

"You're important." She closed her eyes and smiled.

He smiled at her. "You're drunk."

"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "Just a little buzzed is all."

"It's late. We should go to bed."

"I don't want to sleep. You're only here for…two more days." She opened her eyes and stood up. "So, you hate this top, right?" She gestured toward her halter top.

Lucas sighed. "Riley, I thought we went through this. I don't…hate…." His voice trailed off when he saw Riley reach behind her head and untied the bow on her halter top.

She slid the garment over her head and gave him a sly smile. "And these shorts…hate those too, don't you?" She placed her hands on her hips.

"I…uh…um…uh…"Lucas stammered as he stared at her.

She raised an eyebrow as she moved her hands to unbutton the shorts. She slid them down and tossed them aside. "So, what do you think about this? Because those clothes were for everyone else, but these," she gestured to her black lace strapless bra and matching panties, "I got just for you." She stretched her arms out and brought them above her head as slowly turned around so Lucas could see the whole outfit. "So, if you don't like these, then I—"Riley was interrupted by Lucas's lips on her's as he darted from the other side of the room to scoop her up in his arms. She smiled against his lips as he embraced her. "Do you like it or not because I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals?" She giggled as he lifted her up and carried her to his bed. He laid her down against the pillows before lifting his shirt over his head and laying down on top of her. "I really missed you," she breathed as he started kissing her neck. "I counted the days," she moaned.

Lucas lifted his head up and looked Riley in the eye. "152 days," he said softly before leaning back down to kiss the other side of her neck.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, likes, and follows! I feel like I'm constantly editing this story. Trust me when I say that I read every review and try to listen to what you guys think and feel and I've actually originally edited something out of this story that I've decided to squeeze back in because of one review in particular.**_

 _ **I'm just going to warn you guys now that this story gets pretty dramatic as it develops. I actually have been working on other stories while writing this one to keep my sanity. I've already posted one of them, "Girl Meets the Return of Game Night" (read it ((and review)) if you haven't...my first attempt at a comedic GMW fan fic) and I've also started on (what I hope to be) a series of fluffy Rucas one shots tentatively entitled "Because of You". No idea when I'll start posting those as I am in the middle of the first draft of the first one-shot...but so far, it's ooey-gooey and full of cuteness between Lucas and Riley.**_

 _ **Thank you all for the continued support. It means the world to me and is my biggest inspiration. :)**_

* * *

Chapter Four

Riley smiled in her sleep as she felt two arms wrap around her. "Mmm," she slowly opened her eyes and rolled over to face her boyfriend. "Good morning."

"It definitely is," he murmured as he moved some hair away from her eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Best sleep I've had in five months," she said.

"Me too," he kissed the top of her head. Lucas's phone buzzed. He leaned over and looked at his text messages. He quickly typed a response then laid back down, sliding his arm around Riley.

"Who was that," she asked sleepily before she yawned.

"No one," he lied.

Riley frowned as she felt his body stiffen next to her. "Normally I don't respond to text messages from no one."

"It's nothing, Riley," Lucas told her, the frustration in his voice becoming more apparent to her.

She knew she struck a nerve. It made her a little nervous. Why wouldn't he just tell her who texted him? "Fine. I'll leave it alone." She sat up as she pulled her hair back into a messy bun.

At first, Lucas didn't pay much attention to what she was doing until something caught his eye. He sat up and leaned over. "What's that," he inched closer to the right side of Riley's head.

"What's what?"

"That," he leaned in further. "Wait...Riley...you got a tattoo?" He stared at it for a long moment. It was a small music note.

"Yeah," she said slowly. "I told you about that. I got the music note behind my ear and Maya got a small palette and paint brush on her hip."

"I think I would remember you telling me you got a tattoo." He couldn't help but be irritated. How could she keep something like this from him? He knew that she didn't tell him about that. He would've remembered.

"I did tell you," she insisted. "I told you before I got it!" She couldn't believe he didn't remember the conversations they had about it. He was the one who told her to 'do what felt right' when she wasn't sure about getting one.

He shook his head. "Not possible. I would've remembered you getting a tattoo."

"Well, you have been pretty distrated," she told him, a hint of frustration in her tone.

"What does that mean?"

"Clearly that you don't listen to me when I tell you stuff." She kicked the sheets off of her and got out of the bed, grabbed her overnight bag and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Lucas let out a frustrated groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He looked back at his phone and picked it up.

Riley emerged from the bathroom, clothes changed and the strap of her overnight bag on her shoulder. "I'm going back to the dorm to shower."

"You can stay, Riley," he said, not looking up at his girlfriend as he typed on his phone.

Riley looked at him looking at his phone. She smiled sadly. "Yeah, I just have some things to do that I forgot about…and I know you want to see the guys some while you're here."

"I do, but," he finally looked at her, "I want to be with you while I'm here."

"Yeah, you're really acting like it," she said sarcastically. She regretted it as soon as she said it. She didn't want to start a fight. She was just tired of arguing. She wasn't even sure what they were arguing about!

He sat up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means…" she moved the bag to her other shoulder, "You keep snapping at me. You keep getting mad at me. I didn't do anything. I've been here…I've been understanding. I ask you one question and you bite my head off about it. And then you get mad at me about the tattoo that I know I told you about...more than once." She looked down. "I got it four months ago."

He closed his eyes for a moment. This wasn't how he imaged this trip going. "I'm sorry. I've just been dealing with some stuff at home. I've been stressed out and I've been distracted. I'm sorry."

Riley tried to forget the fact that he just called Texas his home. She couldn't help it though, it seemed to reverberate through her whole body. She shook her head, trying to ignore the urge to ask him to elaborate on that comment. "You can talk to me about it, ok? We're still us, right?"

"I just…don't want to deal with it while I'm here." He got out of the bed and walked over to her. "I want to be with you."

"So be with me then." She reached up to kiss him softly. She still wasn't completely satisfied, but she just wanted to get them back to being normal. "Are we still on for this evening?"

"Absolutely," he smiled, kissing her again. He turned her head slightly to look at the tattoo again.

"Do you like it," Riley looked at him expectantly.

He smiled at her as he turned her head back so she was facing him. "Yes, it's you." He leaned down and kissed her again.

* * *

"How mad was he," Maya asked as soon as Riley came into their dorm room.

"Where do we begin," she sighed as she sat her overnight bag down on her bed. She turned to face her best friend and crossed her arms.

"Huh? What else is he mad about?" Maya moved to sit on Riley's bed.

"Well," Riley sat across from Maya, "he doesn't like the way I dress and is worried something will happen to me."

Maya scoffed. "Please. Did you tell him that Josh and I always—"

"Yep. I also told him Farkle is there most of the time and that John always looks out for me too."

Maya raised an eyebrow. "Is he still jealous about John? You two never dated."

Riley shrugged. "I don't know what it is. John is like an older brother to me and he has a girlfriend. Lucas knows that. Seriously, between John and Josh, I'm pretty sure I'm as safe as I would be if Lucas were actually here."

"He'll get over it. He's just not as used to it as the rest of us are." Maya could tell from the conversation she had with Lucas the previous night that he seemed a little overwhelmed with Riley's success. It didn't mean he wasn't happy for her. She could tell he was proud of her, he wasn't sure where he fit in with all of it.

Riley stood up and went to where her bag laid. She unzipped it and pulled out the sequined shorts she wore the night before. "Should I wear something more….conservative?"

Maya shook her head. "You're not letting anything hang out. You have more clothes on than half the girls who go to those clubs. If you like the clothes, wear the clothes. Don't let Lucas dictate what you wear. That's ridiculous."

Riley tossed the shorts into her clothes hamper. "He noticed the tattoo."

Maya was confused. Riley had gotten that tattoo months ago. "What do you mean he noticed the tattoo? He knew about that, right?"

"Yes! I had entire conversations with him about it before and after. He looked at it like I had grown a second head or something. I don't think he likes it." Riley tossed some more of the clothes from the bag into her hamper. "I just want him to be…comfortable with this side of my life. He's not as used to it as you guys are. And he's my priority. I'm not going to be doing this forever. I know who I want to be, Maya…DJ Riley is not it."

She sighed, "I know. You're only doing this til next fall. Have you heard anything yet?"

"Have I come in screaming about it," she replied sarcastically. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt like she was snapping at everyone today. "I'm sorry," she apologized as she sat down on the bed. "You'll be the first to know if I got into grad school."

"You're getting in. Straight A's all four years here…so far. They'd be stupid not to."

"A lot of people get straight A's, Maya. I just hope I get lucky."

"Riles, any school would be lucky to have you in their counseling program." Maya stood up and walked over to their mini fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and walked back toward the bed to sit next to her friend. "Did you tell Huckleberry about it?"

"No. He's got a lot going on with applying for the vet program and waiting to hear back from that. I don't want to pile on that I'm waiting to hear back from grad school."

"But hasn't he asked you what you plan on doing after graduation?"

She shook her head. He never asked. Truth be told, most of their conversations over the last few months had been short to say the least. It was long enough to ask each other how they were doing and then Lucas or Riley had to go for one reason or another. If Riley were being perfectly honest, it was Lucas who had to go most of the time. "At least two more years of this long distance thing is going to be tough," she sighed. "I'm keeping things from him. He's probably keeping things from me. It's hard only seeing him twice a year. And we've only done this for a year."

Maya took a sip of her water. "Is it worth it?"

"Absolutely. He's the only guy for me. Always has been, always will be. I just…wish he knew that side of me...the side you guys know. The Riley who DJs part time and who got a tattoo." She looked down. "I'm scared he won't like that side of me."

"He loves you. Every side of you."

"I wish I was as sure as you were." She stood up and went to her dresser. "I need to shower and get ready. He's taking me to dinner tonight. Oh, we are just going back to Farkle's after if you and Josh want to come by. Nothing big, just hanging out since he's leaving tomorrow afternoon."

Maya watched her friend for a moment, debating on asking her the question that had been bothering her for the last few months. She took a deep breath. "This is a dumb question, but are you two ok?"

She shrugged. "All of this just comes with the territory, right? Not seeing each other…ever. Missing birthdays, holidays…" she sighed, "It won't be for forever."

Maya frowned. "Riles, it's ok if you're upset about being apart from him. It's normal to be upset about it...not to mention everything you just said about missing birthdays and holidays and all the big stuff over the past two years."

Riley looked down at the clothes in her hands and then back at her best friend. "I am…not ok with how things are with us," she confessed. "Gah, does this make me a horrible person?" She stuffed the clothes into her overnight bag.

"No, it makes you human. I don't know how you've been able to deal with it for this long."

She walked back over to her dresser to grab a few more items. "I just...I thought we would be us when I saw him….normal…happy. Just us. Riley and Lucas. But we aren't. It's weird. It's like there is something between us." She closed the drawer and walked back over to her bed.

"Yeah, about 2000 miles and a year and a half without seeing each other."

Riley slid the rest of the clothes into her overnight bag. "We just keep getting into little arguments about the stupidest things. What do I do?"

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

Riley shook her head as she zipped the bag up. "I can't, Maya. He's already got so much going on. I just have to push through. I don't want to pile on."

The girls were silent for a moment. Maya frowned. She didn't like seeing Riley like this. The Riley she knew was always so optimistic and happy, aside from that unfortunate incident senior year of high school. That felt like a lifetime ago. "Riles?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to be happy."

Riley gave her a small smile. "I will be." Suddenly what Lucas said about Texas being his home popped into her head. _'I hope,'_ she thought to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Three updates in less than a week?! I'm rolling on this one! I'm going to try my best to get the next chapter out by Friday night, but it's a chapter I'm completely rewriting, so we'll see. Thank you guys for the reviews. I remembered that someone asked in one of the chapters of "Stay" which one of Riley's grandfathers passed away. It was Jedidiah. (Don't think I ever answered...oops).**_

* * *

Chapter Five

Riley was grateful that the rest of Lucas's visit didn't contain any more arguing or bickering. They had a nice dinner without interruption and had a great night hanging out with Maya, Josh, and Farkle. It was perfect. Riley just wished that the first half of his trip went that well. Both of them chalked the tension between them to stress about finals coming up within the next few weeks. Riley hated to see him go that Sunday, but she knew it was something he had to do. He was so close to his biggest dream. Riley wasn't about to throw a fit over a few weeks when it meant his whole future.

* * *

Thanksgiving came and went. Riley, Maya, and Josh ate Thanksgiving dinner at Cory and Topanga's, along with Cory's parents, Shawn, and Maya's mother, Katy. Throughout the meal, Riley kept glancing at the empty seat next to her. He should've been there, next to her, talking about school and the latest adventures from the ranch. He fit in so well with every member of her family. He talked about football with her grandfather and Josh. He always made sure to play video games with Auggie, did the dishes with her mom, talked about his future with her father. He wasn't trying to suck up to anyone. He really enjoyed bonding with each member of the family. Over the years he had just become one of them. She knew she wasn't the only one who missed him. She could tell the others did as well. They all tried to not talk about him, but in a way, that made Riley feel worse. She tore her eyes away from the vacant chair. It was the longest Thanksgiving of her life.

* * *

Riley ran from the post office to her dorm room. Her future was literally in her hands, but she had to wait until she reached her room. Her hands shook so badly that it took a minute to get the key in the keyhole. Once she was able to unlock the door, she sprinted inside. "Maya, it came! It's here. I can't beli—Oh my GOD! Guys, seriously?!" She covered her eyes with her hands, dropping her books and mail in the process.

Maya laughed. "Sorry, Riley."

She shook her head while keeping her eyes covered. "One of these times I'll actually be blinded. Just tell me when you both have clothes on." She started to tap her foot on the floor impatiently. She was dying to open that letter, but she wasn't about to open her eyes to find it until her best friend and her uncle were dressed.

After a few moments, Maya said, "All clear, Riles."

Riley uncovered her eyes. "Hey, Uncle Josh," she smiled.

"Happy Birthday, Riley," he replied sheepishly. He looked at the pile of mail on the floor. "What came?"

Riley bent down to pick the mail back up. "NYU. Grad school. Counseling." Her hands started shaking again as she held up the envelope.

"Don't stand there. Open it," Maya yelled. She walked over to her best friend. "Oh, I just know you got in."

Riley took a deep breath and opened the envelope. She scanned the letter for a few moments before a huge grin broke out on her face. "I'm in," she squealed. "I'm going to grad school." She started jumping up and down. Maya and Josh stood up and hugged her.

"Congratulations, Riles," Josh told her.

Maya could help but grin at her best friend. She was so proud of her. Riley worked so hard over the last four years for this moment. "Ok, it's your birthday AND now this? We have to go celebrate."

Riley's grinned matched Maya's. She couldn't wait to tell everyone her news. "Can we wait until after I talk to Lucas? He's supposed to call any minute now."

"Sure." She looked over at Josh and then back at Riley. "Josh needs to stop by the office, and we have a few more errands to run, so we'll go ahead and do that. Back in two hours?"

"Mmm kay," she told them. "I told mom and dad that we would all go out for dinner tonight."

"Sounds good," Maya told her. "Drinks after to celebrate?"

"Yep," Riley beamed. She couldn't believe it. Grad school. She was going to be a counselor. She couldn't wait to tell Lucas.

"That's the first smile I've seen from you in weeks," Josh told her.

"Yeah…it's my birthday, got into grad school, and I get to see Lucas. Granted it's just facetime, but still…we haven't talked since Thanksgiving." Two long weeks.

"We'll leave you to do that then," Maya grabbed her boyfriend's hand as they left the dorm room.

Riley let out a little squeal as she re-read the letter. After reading it five more times, she set the letter down on her desk. She pulled her phone out of her bag and moved to sit on her bed. "4:11…it's only been 11 minutes," she said to herself. She sat the phone next to her and turned on the tv.

* * *

Maya and Josh were both laughing as they entered the dorm room a little over two hours later. "I don't believe that at all," Maya told him. She looked at her best friend who laid on her bed. "Ready to go, Riles?"

Riley gave them a small smile as she moved to stand up. She glanced in the mirror and smoothed her hair out. "Yeah. I told dad that we would meet them at 7, so we should head out." She walked over to her desk to grab her purse.

Maya glanced at her reflection in the mirror that hung over Riley's closet door and began to fix her hair. "How's Ranger Rick?"

Riley shrugged. "I wouldn't know." She looked down. "He never called."

Maya's head whipped around to look at Riley. Surely she misunderstood that. "WHAT?" That's not possible. He wouldn't forget to call her today. He was always the first to celebrate Riley's birthday. He always had something planned for her...even before they started dating he planned a surprise party for her.

"Maybe we just miscommunicated on the time," she tried to reason. She felt like she was in a daze or something. Lucas had been really busy over the last several months, but she never thought he wouldn't take two seconds to call her on her birthday. She walked towards the door.

"Riley, don't forget your phone," Josh said, pointing to the device laying on Riley's bed.

Riley turned back at where her phone laid on the bed. "Nah, I'm good. I'm not going to stare at my phone all night. I want to celebrate turning 22." She gave them a weak smile before walking out of the room.

* * *

After having dinner with Auggie and her parents, Riley, Maya, and Josh went to one of their favorite bars where they met up with Farkle, John, and Amanda, John's girlfriend. After ordering a round for everyone, Farkle pulled a small wrapped box from his pocket. "Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"Lucas told me to give this to you for your birthday." He handed the present to her. "Since he couldn't be here."

Riley gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Farkle." She cut her eyes to Maya briefly before opening the present. Inside the black velvet jewelry box sat a pave white gold ring with a white gold bow on top of it. "Wow. It's beautiful." She closed the box and put it in her bag.

"Are you ok," John asked her. He hadn't known Riley nearly as long as her friends, but he knew when something was wrong with her. Normally girls loved jewelry and would be more than excited about it.

"I'm good."

"Are you sure, Riley," Amanda asked her. "You seem distracted."

"I'm fine." Riley smiled at Amanda. She really liked her. She seemed to fit in well with their little group, and she seemed to love John just as much as John loved her. They had been together for almost a year now. She wished that Lucas had been able to meet her when he was in town. Lucas. Riley sighed. She hoped she had a message waiting for her when she got home, but she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that there wouldn't be.

"Now you can tell him that you got it," Farkle said, not taking the hint that Riley wasn't happy.

"Yeah, sure." The drinks arrived at that time. Riley took a few sips of her margarita. "Thanks, Farkle."

"Riley," Maya asked.

Riley looked over at Maya. "I'm fine. Let's just have a good night. It's my birthday, after all." She looked at her drink which was half empty. "Who is buying the birthday girl one more?"

* * *

Maya and Riley came back to the dorm around 2 am. Maya was surprised that Riley didn't immediately check her phone for any missed messages or phone calls. Instead, she grabbed her pajamas and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Maya swore to herself that she would try to stay out of their relationship, but she couldn't help it…she hated seeing her best friend upset. Even though Riley acted like everything was ok, Maya knew that it wasn't. She reached over and grabbed Riley's phone. She checked her notifications: nothing. Maya thought her head was going to explode with anger. _'What the hell is more important than wishing your girlfriend a 'Happy Birthday'?!'_ Maya took a few deep breaths. She had to try to stay out of it. But oh boy was Ranger Rick going to get an earful the next time she talked to him.

* * *

Riley didn't look at her phone before going to sleep around 3:30. She didn't want to be upset...well, any more than she already was. She just knew that he hadn't sent a text or called or anything. When she awoke the next morning, she thought that maybe it was just a bad dream. Surely Lucas wouldn't forget to call her. She glanced at her phone. Still nothing. Riley dragged herself out of the bed and began to get ready for the day. It was already nearly noon and she had a gig that night. She tried to not wake Maya as she moved around the room. She went over to her closet to try to figure out what to wear that night when her phone started ringing loudly. She had to laugh at Maya as Maya threw her pillow in the direction of her phone.

"Riles," Maya groaned. "Who is calling so early?"

"It's almost 1 in the afternoon," Riley laughed as she walked over to her phone and looked at it as it continued to ring.

Maya grabbed one of her other pillows and held it against her head to try to muffle the noise. "Aren't you going to answer that?"

"It's him," Riley sat her phone back down and went back to her closet. "What should I wear tonight?

Maya uncovered her head with the pillow and moved to sit up. "You aren't going to answer it?"

Riley looked at her. "Would you?"

"Good point. I'd probably chew him out and hang up on him though."

Riley slid a few of the hangers over, still undecided about what to wear that night. "I don't have the energy for that. I'll ignore him until I can figure out what to say." She pulled out a pale blue mini dress with cut outs on either side of her rib cage. "Maybe this and my black leather jacket?" She held up the dress to Maya.

"That's gorgeous. When did you get that one," Maya asked her, distracted by the gorgeous dress. _'I'm going to borrow that one.'_ Maya shook her head. She had to stay on topic. "Look, you aren't the one who has to figure out what to say. This isn't your fault."

"Yeah, but I have to be understanding, right? Cause he's working himself ragged. Some things have to take a backseat." She pulled out her motorcycle black leather jacket and laid both garments on the bed.

"Not your birthday, though! No excuse for that. I'm sorry."

* * *

Five missed calls and twenty minutes later and Riley still wasn't answering her phone. Maya was sitting on her bed, her legs anxiously shaking. She couldn't take it anymore. One more time and she was going to answer for Riley.

There was a knock on their door. Riley, being the closest to the door, went to open it. "Delivery for Riley Matthews," a voice said from behind a huge bouquet of red roses and daisies.

Riley couldn't even see the guy's face, there were so many flowers. "I'm Riley," she said, taking the huge arrangement and sitting it on her desk. She signed for the flowers, thanked the delivery guy, then plopped down on her desk chair and stared at the flowers. After a moment, she leaned over and grabbed the card that was attached.

"What does it say," Maya stood up and walked over to her.

"'I know you must hate me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.'" She sat the card down and gazed at the flowers again. "They are pretty."

Maya groaned. "It's going to take more than flowers, Riles."

"I know." She reached for her purse and pulled out the black velvet box that was given to her the night before. She opened it and looked at the ring again. "It's not like he completely forgot."

"Yes, it is. That's exactly what it was." Riley's phone rang again. "Ugh, I can't take it," Maya yelled, stomping over to Riley's bed and grabbing her cell phone. "Listen, Huckleberry," she began as she growled into the phone, "it's going to take a lot more than some flowers to make up for what you did to her."

Riley was about to take the phone from Maya when there was another knock on the door. Riley turned around and opened it, revealing another huge arrangement of red roses and, presumably, a person somewhere behind them.

"Really, Ranger Rick," Maya practically screamed into the phone. "Two arrangements?!" She spun around and looked out the window. "If you think that a bunch of flowers are going to make up for-"

"Delivery for Riley Matthews."

"I'm…Riley," Riley grabbed the flowers as it hit her that she knew that voice. She sat the flowers down and slowly turned to face the delivery guy.

At the same time, Maya slowly turned around to face the delivery guy as well.

Lucas and Maya hung up their phones at the same time. Riley just stared at him. She was afraid to move or speak. She was afraid to blink. He gave her a small smile. "Surprise?"

Riley finally tore her eyes away to look back at Maya. "Maya, before I say anything, you see him too, right?"

Maya nodded dumbly. She was speechless. Maya was never speechless.

Riley turned to look back at Lucas. "How? Why? How," she sputtered.

He smiled at her. "Are you going to invite me in or are we going to do this with an audience," he gestured to a few people in the hallway who had gathered outside of her doorway.

"Yeah, come in," she said, taking a few steps back so he could come in their room.

Maya sat back down on her bed. She wasn't about to miss this.

Lucas and Riley stared at one another for a long moment before Lucas cleared his throat. "Riley, I'm so sorry that I didn't call you yesterday."

Suddenly crashing back into reality, Riley crossed her arms over her chest. "Why didn't you?"

"I got caught up in some things that Dr. Lunsford wanted me to get done and then I had to stop by the ranch to check on my grandfather. By the time I remembered, it was already today. So, I took the first flight I could here." He took a deep breath. "I am so sorry. I've just been so wrapped up in this internship and taking care of my grandfather's ranch. I've been taking you for granted. I realized that when I realized that somehow I couldn't take just two seconds to call you." He took a step forward. "I have a lot to make up for. Will you let me make it up to you?" _'Please say yes,'_ he thought to himself.

Riley stared at him for a few minutes. "What time are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow night."

"She has a gig tonight," Maya told him from her spot on the bed.

"I can try to get out it," Riley told him.

Lucas shook his head. He wasn't here to interrupt her life. "I'd love to go. I want to go. I want to see you do something you enjoy doing."

"You would?" When Lucas nodded, Riley couldn't help but smile. She wanted him to enjoy this part of her life, and he finally seemed more willing to try. "Ok…but just because you've done a pretty good job so far making it up to me."

Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped toward Riley and embraced her. He smiled when she wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you so much," he whispered.

"I missed you too."


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I'm starting to think people are losing interest in this, but since I do have it mostly written already, I will finish it for those of who who are still enjoying it. I'm sorry if this chapter seems...out of place and out of character. Out of place is not intentional (it's just an awkward fit because of a timeline issue)...out of character is intentional because...long distance is a pain and is very hard to pull off (even for our favorite couple), and this story is about what happens sometimes when you are away from the one you love.**_

* * *

Chapter Six

"Yeah, it's good, but can we slide the equipment over a little? With these heels on, I might fall off the stage," Riley asked John and Josh as they finished setting up the equipment. The club wasn't supposed to open for a few more hours, but the small group had to get everything set up.

John chuckled, "Sure, Riles...though I'm sure your male admirers wouldn't mind that view if you fell." He turned to grab something when he noticed Lucas standing about 5 feet infront of him. "Hey, man! I didn't know you were in town."

Lucas raised an eyebrow at him. What view was John talking about? There was just something about that guy that Lucas never liked. He wasn't sure if it was just his insecurities or what, but either way, he didn't appreciate the comments about his girlfriend.

Riley looked up and saw Lucas and Maya. She moved a piece of hair out of her face. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"He wanted to come watch you guys set up," Maya told them.

"Really," Josh asked him. "It's pretty boring."

"I just want to see this one as much as possible," he said as he reached Riley. He put a protective arm around her and turned to John. "How's it going?"

John didn't catch the territorial tone Lucas took with him. "It's going, man. I think we are almost done." He walked over to the computers and started clicking on a few things. "Uh, Riles...where is your playlist?"

Riley frowned. "It should be right there." She detached herself from Lucas and went over to where John stood. She accidentally touched his hand when she went to take the mouse from him.

Lucas flinched. Riles? Riles?! Only he got to call her that. Ok, and Maya. And Josh. And Farkle. But that was it. No one else. And she touched his hand. Did it linger there? Lucas shook his head. He felt like he was starting to lose it. He had always been jealous of the connection Riley had with John, but other thoughts were starting to pop into his head when he saw them converse about Riley's missing playlist. When he saw John put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down then hug her, Lucas almost lost it right then and there. He felt his old anger start to come back. He couldn't describe it. He thought that part of him died when he met Riley. Over the last few years though, he felt it start to stir up again. He wasn't sure if it was all of the stress or being apart from her for so long or what. He couldn't help but start to think something was going on between them.

"What am I going to do?! It's gone," she said as John hugged her to try to calm her down.

"We'll get it back," he turned to the computer. "Ok, the tracks are still here...it's just the order. Do you have a backup list anywhere?"

"Yeah! My notebook!" Riley rubbed her head. "I think it's at the dorm. Hang on," she walked over to the other side of the stage. She went through her bookbag. "Yeah, it's not here." She walked back over to them. "Maya, can you please go get it for me? I have to get dressed and test the sound equipment still. I can't believe that playlist got deleted," she put her hands on the top of her head and swayed back and forth, obviously stressed.

"Yeah, of course." Maya walked over to her and gave her a hug. "Don't stress out, ok?"

Riley nodded, then looked over Maya's shoulder. "Lucas, can you please go with her? I think it's on my desk, but just in case, four eyes are better than two."

"Riley, I was going to stay and-"

"Please," Riley interrupted him. "I'm sorry we can't hang out right now, but I just...I need that set list. John and Josh need to stay here to help me finish this." She rubbed her eyes. "Oh my God," she groaned. "I need that notebook."

"We got it," Maya told her as she walked over to Lucas. "Come on, cowboy. Time to save the day."

Lucas didn't budge at first. He looked at Riley. He then saw John walk back over to Riley and place his hands on her shoulders...again. He saw Riley hug him...again. She wanted John to stay over him? Her own boyfriend whom she never sees? His jealousy began to build even more.

"You ok man," Josh asked him when he saw that Lucas didn't move.

"Ranger Rick," Maya called.

Lucas shook his head as he snapped out of his trance. "Yeah," he turned to walk out of the club. He stopped before he stepped outside and turned around. He saw Riley laugh at something John had said. He clenched his jaw.

* * *

Riley paced nervously behind the stage. She looked at her phone. She was supposed to start her set in 10 minutes. She hadn't heard anything back from Maya or Lucas. John and Josh tried to calm her down, but she had never performed without at least a rough list of mixes she was going to do. Sure, sometimes she would change it up, but she had never done an entire gig like that.

She walked over to the mirror that hung up by the stage. Well, she reasoned, if she was going to bomb, she was going to look good doing it. Her hair was curled and the blue of the dress definitely complimented her olive complextion. She saw John walk up behind her. "Hey," she greeted as she still looked at herself in the mirror.

"You look great, Riles," John told her. "Any word?"

"Nope," she sighed and turned to face him. "I can do this right? Improv an entire gig?"

John placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed him comfortingly. "You got this."

"We got it," Maya called out as she and Lucas walked up to the pair.

Lucas clenched his fists. Again with the touching and close contact? Was he massaging her shoulders?! He was about to snap. He looked at Riley. She looked incredible.

Riley walked over to Maya and grabbed the notebook from her. She gave her a big hug. "I owe you my life."

Maya laughed, "Remember that."

Riley walked over to her boyfriend and gave him a hug. "Thank you so much for going with her."

"Anything to help," he told her as he stared at John. They pulled back from one another. Lucas gazed at her outfit again. "You look amazing, Riley."

"Really?" She grinned.

"Absolutely," he leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. "You're going to be great."

"Show time," Josh said as he walked back stage. "Hey, did you guys get the notebook?"

"Of course," Maya said as she kissed Josh on the cheek, "Did you doubt me?"

"Never," he smiled. He turned to face Riley. "Feel better now? Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said as she hugged her notebook. "Ok, guys, wish me luck!"

"You won't need it," Maya told her. "But good luck."

"You got this in your sleep," Josh told her.

Lucas kissed the top of her head. "Good luck. You'll be great."

Maya, Josh, and Lucas started to walk over to the VIP area. Before leaving the backstage area, Lucas stopped and turned to look at Riley as she turned to John and waved the notebook at him. "Saved by the bell," she said.

"You'll be perfect," he hugged her.

Lucas took a deep breath to try to steady himself.

* * *

He snapped. That's all you could really say about it. He saw John hand Riley a ring, saw Riley jump up and down in excitement and hug him and Lucas just snapped. He knew this guy for four years. He knew he had a thing for Riley for four years. And for one split second, he thought that maybe she had a thing for him too. He couldn't take it. The next thing Lucas remembered, John was on the floor holding his bloody nose, Riley was sobbing his name while Maya hugged her, and Josh and one of the club's security guards were holding him.

"Lucas, what the hell," Maya said as she still held Riley.

"Man, you got to go. We don't allow fighting," the security guard told him. He looked at Josh. "Sorry, Josh."

"It's ok, Steve." He looked over at his niece. "It's probably for the best. Listen, I'll walk him out, ok?"

The security guard nodded as he walked off.

"J-J-John, are you ok," Riley sobbed as she moved to crouch next to him. She moved his hand away from his nose. "Maya, can you get me something to help stop the bleeding and swelling?" She looked up at her uncle. "He might have a broken nose."

"Jesus," Josh said. He looked over at Lucas. "I'm sorry man, but you have to go."

Lucas just nodded. He had completely blacked out...something that hadn't happened since he was 13. Judging by everyone's reactions, he knew how John got a broken nose. "Riley, I-"

"I really don't want to hear it," she told him as she stood up to face him. "Is this why you came? I mean ruining my birthday wasn't good enough...you decided to go for the whole weekend?!" She wiped her eyes. "Just...just go, Lucas."

Maya came back with a washcloth and handed it to Riley, who now had some blood on her hands. "Riley, I can handle that. You have another set to do and you need to clean up some before going back out there."

Riley stood back up. "I don't know how I'm going to go back out there."

"Riley, if you just-"

"Lucas," Riley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She turned to Josh. "Get him out of here. I have another set to get ready for. Maybe I'll be able to get the blood off of my hands before then." She turned and walked towards the bathroom.

Josh walked with Lucas outside of the club. "Ok, what the hell happened? Maya and I saw you guys just as you punched John in the nose."

"I-I-I don't know. I saw him give Riley a ring. I saw her hug him and I snapped. I mean...he's been touching her all day and she wasn't backing off. She initiated it some too. Josh, be honest with me man, is something going on with them? I mean...did he propose to her or something?" It made no sense. Riley wouldn't cheat on him, would she?!

"What?! No man...that ring is for his girlfriend. Lucas, he's going to propose to his girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

Josh chucked. "Yes, you did. I was there when Riley told you about her. John told me all about it earlier. He was going to do it next weekend."

Lucas rubbed his forehead. "I don't remember. Oh God...so there's nothing going on in between them?"

"No! They're like brother and sister...kind of like Maya and you."

"Oh God." He turned and punched the wall behind him. "She's never going to speak to me again, is she?"

"Maybe she'll understand."

"I broke one of her best friends' noses. I don't think she's going to be quick to forgive," Lucas looked down at his bloodied knuckles. "Why do I keep screwing things up?"

"It's built into our DNA."

* * *

Riley, somehow, was able to finish her gig while John went to the hospital in an ambulance. As soon as she finished the last song, she sprinted off of the stage. It only took her a minute to grab all of her things and begin to look for Maya and Josh. Once everything got settled, the trio took the first cab to the hospital.

She sprinted down the hospital hallway once she found out what room he was in, Maya and Josh trailing behind her. She found the room and opened the door. "John, I came as soon as..." She frowned. She expected to see Amanda there, and she was, but she wasn't alone. Farkle and Lucas were in the room as well. All four of them were laughing. Their laughter subsided when they saw Riley enter.

"Hey," John greeted underneath his bandaged nose.

"Hi," she replied slowly.

Maya and Josh appeared behind Riley. "Hey John, Amanda, Farkle..." Maya looked over at Lucas, "Slugger."

John, Amanda, and Farkle laughed. Lucas cringed. "Is that going to stick?"

"Definitely," John told him.

"Slugger fits," Amanda added.

Maya grinned. "Did we make up?"

John shrugged. "Lucas and I talked. It was a misunderstanding."

Riley wasn't sure if she had just stepped into the twilight zone or what. "Misunderstanding?! John, I'm so sor-"

"Riley, it wasn't your fault," Amanda told her. "They told me what happened. It was just a misunderstanding. It really was."

"How can you just forgive that quickly?"

John shrugged. "We talked," he repeated. "And you two need to talk."

"We came to see you," she said.

"I know. I appreciate that, and I'm going to be fine, but," he looked over at Lucas and then back at Riley, "Right now, I want you two to talk."

* * *

Riley crossed her arms as she walked out of the room and into the hallway of the quiet hospital. It was nearly 4 in the morning, but she wasn't tired. She had too much on her mind. She saw Lucas sit down on a bench outside of John's room. Riley didn't immediately sit down. She paced for a few minutes as she tried to collect her thoughts. She finally walked over to where he sat and sat next to him. She turned to face him. "Lucas...what the hell?!"

Lucas took a deep breath. "Riley, I need to tell you something. Something that I never fully divulged to you."

Riley nodded. She was willing to listen to anything in order to understand what was going on and why John and Amanda were so quick to forgive him when she couldn't even comprehend what had happened.

"You know why I got expelled from school in Texas. You don't know the whole story. Riley, I have no memory of fighting...anyone."

Riley was confused. "Huh?"

"Riley, I had...well, still have I guess...rage blackouts." He started to shake his leg nervously, "I know that sounds ridiculous and I know you probably don't believe any of this, but I have no memory of the fights I got in when I was in Texas...and I have no memory of what happened tonight."

Riley took a minute to process this new bit of information. "I've heard about that."

"You have," he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, in a few of my psychology classes. It's still not completely accepted, but there have been a lot of studies done on it and it seems to be legitimate." She ran a hand through her hair. "So, that's what happened tonight?"

Lucas nodded.

"So, what set you off against John?"

Lucas leaned back in his seat and looked up as he tried to figure out how to express his feelings. "Well, and this is hard for me to admit, but...I've always been jealous of him."

"You? Nooooo," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know I haven't done much to hide it. He just gets a side of you that I'm not a part of. You got heavily into music while we were broken up. You met him when we were broken up. I knew that he was interested in you then and I never thought that he could ever be interested in someone else..." He finally looked over at her, "I just didn't think it was possible for anyone to ever get over you." He looked away. "Anyway, I saw him touch you and you touch him earlier today. I saw him rub your shoulders and this anger started to build up in me...anger that I hadn't felt in ten years. And then you sent me away over him. You chose him over me. It doesn't make sense now, but at the time, that's how I felt. And then I saw him hand you that ring and you hug him and...I snapped. That's all I remember."

"Did you think he was proposing to me or something?"

"No, I don't think I did. I didn't think you would ever cheat on me, but I know we haven't seen each other much at all the last few years and we've been talking less and less...and things sometimes happens between people. I've just been so focused on school, this internship, and the ranch that I even forgot that John had a girlfriend...well, fiance now."

"He proposed with a broken nose?"

"Yeah," Lucas chuckled. "In front of Farkle and me too. It was nice. John is...a really good guy."

"Yeah, he is." Riley leaned back in the seat. "He's helped me a lot the last few years. He didn't deserve to be punched...rage blackout or not."

"I know. I feel awful about it. I thought that part of me was gone. I hadn't had an issue in 10 years."

"What do you think brought it on?"

"Honestly?" He saw her nod. He looked away from her. "The idea of losing you made me snap. You've always been this...calming influence on me. You've helped me become the person I want to be. You're...everything to me...and the idea of losing you because of...the distance or the fact that I'm not here to experience all of these things with you...or you realizing there is someone better out there for you...that I'm not good enough for you...it scares me, Riley." He finally looked at her. "Have I lost you?"

Riley looked down at his hand resting on the bench. She moved her hand to place iton top of his . "You haven't, but you have to understand that there is nothing between John and me."

He nodded, "I think I finally understand that."

"If John and Amanda can forgive you, I can. Lucas, I know you. If I thought for one second that this is who you were...someone who punches first and asks questions later...then I wouldn't be with you. But...you're a good man. Little bit of a workaholic, but you're a good man. I love you, but it scared me to see that side of you. I don't want to be afraid of you."

Lucas flinched. "The last thing in the world I want is for you to be afraid of me, Riley." He looked at her hand on top of his. He turned his hand over and interlaced his fingers with her's. "It kills me to hear you say that. Please, please don't be afraid of me. I'd never hurt you."

"Maybe you can talk to someone...when you get back."

He nodded. "I already thought about that. Clearly I still have some things going on."

"Ok."

He looked up at her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Riley slid closer to him. She used her free hand to rub his cheek. "I know. I forgive you." He placed his other hand on top of her's. That's when Riley saw that his hand was bandaged up. She looked at it for a moment "Is anything broken?"

"Two knuckles are. I'm not sure if it was from me hitting John or me punching the concrete wall outside of the club."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little."

Riley took his bandaged hand and lightly kissed his knuckles. "Can we please try to enjoy the last 12 hours that you're here?"

He gave her a small smile. "I was hoping you'd say that."

She gave him a small smile as she leaned in to kiss him softly.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: I love you guys. Your reviews seriously make my day. A few comments on the reviews:_**

 ** _Rucasfan, I'm not planning on doing another sequel after this one. This story still isn't finished! There are at least three-four more chapters, and then I actually need to finish it, so enjoy the ride._**

 ** _Silkycatastrophe, I swear...you are my biggest cheerleader. Your review almost made me cry. I read the writer's tweets as well and the "calming influence" is one that has ALWAYS stuck with me and I wanted to incorporate that into this because it's basically canon at this point...and we've already seen it TWICE on the show. The whole reason I got back into writing (and felt inspired to do so) was because of the fact that there are not many Rucas fanfics, which blows my mind!_**

 ** _Maria, I hope you at least like the end of this chapter. ;) Sorry this story is so dramatic._**

 ** _To everyone: thank you for supporting this story. Hope you guys like this chapter :)_**

* * *

Chapter Seven

Riley sat at her desk in her room at her parents' place. Headphones on, music playing as she jotted down some notes on the song she was listening to. School had been on break for over a week now and she had spent the last four days like this: in front of her computer, creating new mixes. Finals had her so preoccupied that she was behind in getting some new tracks finished.

Josh's roommates went out of town for the holidays, so for once, he actually had the place to himself, which meant that Riley hadn't seen Maya in four days. She encouraged Maya to spend that alone time with Josh. With his roommates and her around, they never really got to be alone together. Riley sighed. She wish she had that problem. The last few hours Lucas and her were together were great, but the time with him felt so short. She still felt a little uneasy about what happened with John, but the space helped her try to work through it. She wasn't lying when she told him that seeing him like that scared her. She felt that the Lucas she knew was still there, but she also saw this other side of him...the side that he had kept hidden for so long. He promised to talk to someone about his anger, but she wasn't sure if he had even made an appointment yet.

Now that he was back in Austin, it was back to short conversations maybe twice a week if she was lucky. If she were perfectly honest with herself, it was beginning to bother her more and more. The Lucas she knew never forgot to call, always texted, and called her every day, whether he saw her or not. He said that he always wanted her voice to be last thing he heard before he fell asleep. The logical side of Riley knew that he had so much going on and that things would eventually settle down, but the other part of her knew that things hadn't settled down and that, in fact, things were actually getting worse. She looked down at her right hand. He slid her birthday present on her right ring finger right before they left for the airport. She hadn't taken it off yet. It almost felt like he was with her. She looked up and saw the flowers he gave her. Sure they were pretty much dead by now, but Riley didn't have the heart to throw them away just yet. She looked at the computer and clicked through the next few songs in her library. Finding the track she wanted, she sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, letting the music take her away.

It didn't take her very far before she heard a notification go off on her skype. She opened her eyes. She couldn't believe who it was. She looked down at her appearance. She was in her sweats with her hair pulled back in a bun. She considered not answering very briefly before shaking her head. It was no use. He'd have to see her like this. She leaned forward and accepted the invite. She smiled at the camera. "Hey stranger." She slid her headphones down so they wrapped around her neck.

Lucas grinned at her. "Hey beautiful."

"Yeah right. You caught me at the perfect time, clearly," she gestured to her appearance.

"You look perfect."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled any way. "How are you?"

"Tired."

"The ranch?"

"No, internship. I'm grateful for it, but it's very intense. I'm getting some great experience though."

"That's great! Not that it's intense, but that you're getting the experience in. How's the hand?"

He lifted it up so she could see that it was still bandaged up. "I'm getting used to it. Thankfully everyone finally stopped asking about it. I should be able to get this thing off in about a month or so."

She bit her lip. "Have you made that appointment yet?"

He sighed. "Not yet. I've just been so busy, but I will. I promise. I want to go more than you want me to." When she didn't respond, he decided to change the subject. "How's Christmas break going for you?"

"Productive, believe it or not." She held up her note pad. "Been working on some new stuff the last several days."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Nothing else to do really. Maya and Josh are in coupleville, dad and Auggie still have school for a few more days, and mom is being mom…saving the world while running the bakery. So, might as well work on this. Josh already has sev…"Riley frowned. Lucas wasn't looking at her. It didn't seem like he was listening to her. "What is it?"

"Hmm? Hang on a sec, Riles."

Riley watched him get up and walk away. She heard muffled voices. After a minute, he came back to her.

"I'm sorry, Riley, but I need to go."

She rubbed her temple. What a surprise. "Why?"

"Nic needs help with a project." He stood up and walked to his dresser. He grabbed his keys and wallet.

Seriously? Nick? Again?! "I thought classes were out for the holidays."

"Internship issue." He looked down at his injured hand and back up at her. "I'm sorry. I promise the next time I'll be on longer."

Riley gritted her teeth. "I understand." Ugh. She could almost throw up right then and there. She was a broken record. Understanding Riley, that was her. Sure, they hadn't spoken since he left NYC after breaking John's nose. So of course they finally do and he has to leave a minute later. "I love you," she tried to smile.

"Hey," he said softly, "I love you. I'm sorry."

She nodded. "Good night." She exited from the chat before he told her goodbye. She took her headphones completely off her head and tossed them on the desk. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. All of this was getting to be too much. She missed him too much. She missed them being together. She took a moment to collect herself before sliding her headphones back on, silently demanding that the music take her far away from where she was.

* * *

For the first time ever, Riley was actually dreading her parents' annual Christmas party. The entire family was there, as was Maya's and Farkle's. She thought she would have to plaster the same fake smile she had been sporting for the last few months. Surprisingly enough, her smile was genuine. Her uncle Eric had her in stitches. The way her Uncle Shawn grilled Josh about his intentions toward Maya made her laugh, even though everyone knew how much he approved of the relationship. Mr. Minkus and her dad talking about how amazing her mom was made Riley appreciate the awesomeness that was her mom even more. Hearing Auggie's latest drama with "the wife" made her smile. Hearing her Aunt Morgan talk about her latest travel adventure made Riley wish that she could globe trot like her aunt. Her mom complaining about everyone eating the dinner in two seconds (which had become a yearly tradition) made her realize that it was always good to come home and spend time with family…and friends who were like family. Riley also enjoyed the conversations she had with her friends: Maya, Farkle, and John. They talked music, sports, school, and the future. Everyone seemed so proud of her for getting into NYU for grad school. It wasn't until her grandfather asked her what Lucas said to the news that she realized that she still hadn't told him.

* * *

Riley was almost finished getting ready for Shawn and Katy's Christmas dinner party when her computer beeped at her. She walked over to it and accepted the video chat. "Hey," she greeted as she was putting her earrings in.

"Wow," Lucas said, taking in her appearance.

Riley smiled and spun around. "Do I look ok?"

Lucas looked at her for a long moment, lost in thought. She was a vision in a crimson cap sleeved dress that fell to right above her knees. "You look incredible, Riles."

"It's just this beautiful necklace I got in the mail two days ago." She picked up the chain that held a small white gold bird charm on it.

Lucas smiled at her. "I'm so glad you got it before Christmas. It looks gorgeous on you. You know why I got a bird, right?"

She chuckled, "That's how everyone used to distract me when they had to figure out how to deliver bad news to me." She grabbed her black cardigan off of her bed and slipped it on.

He chuckled. "The first time I saw it, I knew I was falling in love with you."

She walked over to her desk chair and sat down. "When was the first time?"

"When Maya told you about Pluto."

She scrunched up her face. "Really? That's when you realized you were falling in love with me?"

He nodded. "I knew I liked you before then... but in that moment, when I saw how upset you were...I realized that I wanted to protect you. I never wanted to see you broken like that...your belief in something shaken. Whenever I see a bird, I think about that moment."

She smiled. "That's sweet." There he was...the Lucas she really missed, the real Lucas. He wasn't angry or stressed. He was just kind and sweet. She felt special again.

"So, where are you going?"

"Katy and Shawn's Christmas dinner. We did family presents this morning…everyone else gets theirs' tonight. That reminds me…Merry Christmas!"

He smiled at her. "Merry Christmas. I'm sorry I can't be there to be your date."

"It's ok. I'll have Farkle to keep me entertained, I'm sure." She looked next to the computer. "I have your Christmas present here."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She beamed. "Ok, so graduation is in May, so I was thinking…that it would be a great time to go away…just us…since we haven't seen much of each other in the last few years and after everything that's happened in the last few months. So...I got us two first class tickets for a week's stay in Paris," she held up the plane tickets. "I also got the hotel booked and everything. It's going to be amazing, Lucas, I…" she stopped when she saw him look down. His whole demeanor seemed to shift. He didn't seem happy at all. "What?"

He sighed and looked up at her. "I wish you would've talked to me about it before you got them."

She frowned. "Why? I know when you're graduating."

"Yeah, but…" he took a deep breath, "I got into the program, Riles. I'm in! I'm going to be a veterinarian."

She gave him a small smile. "I knew you would. The program doesn't start til the fall though, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Lunsford offered me an assistant position with his practice. I could really use the experience."

"So that's going to last during the summer," Riley said as she understood where the conversation was headed. She sat the tickets down on the desk and bit her lip to keep from crying. "I…understand," she managed to say. It was only months of planning, months of dreaming about spending a whole week with him in the most romantic city on earth. No big deal.

"I'm sorry. If I had known beforehand, I wouldn't have taken it. I've already promised him though."

She looked up at the ceiling for a moment to keep from crying. She cleared her throat. "No, it's fine. Really. I'll see if Maya wants to go or something." She plastered on her fake smile for him. "I'll just get you something else then." She looked around the room to avoid looking at him. She knew she was about to crack.

Lucas frowned. He hated to disappoint her. "Riley..."

"I have to go," she said quietly.

"Riley, are you sure you're ok?" He knew she wasn't. He wasn't sure what to say to comfort her. All of this was for their future. She had to understand that, right?

"Mmhmm," she ended the chat as the tears began to fall. She sat there for a moment as the tears slowly cascaded down her cheeks.

Maya crawled in the window. "Ready to go, Riles? Josh is already in the cab…" she looked at her friend, "You ok?"

Riley shook her head and turned back to her computer. She picked up the tickets and faced Maya again. "Wanna go to Paris with me after graduation?"

Maya frowned. "What happened?"

"He can't go. He's going to be Dr. Lunsford's assistant all summer." She wiped her eyes. "I feel like a bitch for being upset about it, because he's just working so hard, and he got me this beautiful necklace and told me why and it's amazing and he's amazing and I love him and...I'm crying."

Maya walked over to her and gave her a hug. "You aren't acting like a bitch. You have been planning this for months."

"Yeah, but he didn't know that. He got into the program by the way."

"Did you tell him about grad school?"

She shook her head.

"Why not? You've known for a month about it."

"It just doesn't come up," she shrugged.

"It's the most important thing in your life. How can it not come up?"

"We don't talk much. Maybe a few minutes once a week or so now. It's getting worse, Maya." She wiped her eyes. "I think…I think we are losing each other. I feel like I'm losing him and…this is worse…I feel myself drifting away from him...even before he hit John. And now...I'm happy he got into the program, but four more years of this...," She moved to sit down on her bed. "Lately I've been able to smile, really smile, and have fun without him, which is good…it's great…but part of me is starting to dread our conversations. I feel like I get disappointed about something every time we talk now. It's not his fault...that's the most frustrating thing. He's doing what I told him to do. Maya, I love him so much...when I look into the future, all I see is him...it's just that I don't…I just…I'm…I'm…"

"You aren't happy," Maya finished.

"I would be if we could actually find some way to spend time together...even if it was just facetime or a phone call...God, I'd be happy with a text that contained more than a few words. I honestly don't know if I can keep doing this. I'm fine with not being a top priority…he really does have a lot going on, but I just feel like an afterthought. I shouldn't be an afterthought for someone when that someone is my top priority."

"I agree completely." Maya walked over to her friend and gave her a hug. "Do you just want to stay here tonight?"

Riley shook her head. "No, I want to be around my family and friends. You guys make me happy."

* * *

Riley spent her New Year's Eve DJing, her friends in tow. She purposefully left her phone at home so she wouldn't be tempted to check it during every set break. She hadn't spoken to Lucas since Christmas Day. The part of her that was upset with him was ok with that. She needed a little space. At midnight, balloons fell down from the ceiling as she played "Auld Lang Syne". She saw all the happy couples kissing one another at midnight. She felt her heart sink. She missed him. She knew she did, but the guy in Texas didn't seem like the Lucas she fell in love with. Of course, she saw flashes, but overall, he was different. She wasn't sure if it was the space between them or if it was them both growing up and changing. As she watched the confetti fall, she closed her eyes and made a wish. If she couldn't kiss the man she loved at midnight, surely she should be able to make a wish instead. She opened her eyes as the song ended. She slid her headphones back over her ears as she began to play the next song.

* * *

Riley got back to her parents' around 4am. Maya decided to stay with her since she knew what Riley was going through and didn't want her to feel alone. Even though Riley didn't have a curfew anymore, the girls crept through the Matthews' living room ever so carefully as to not wake anyone. When Maya closed Riley's bedroom door behind her, both girls let out a giggle.

"Are you drunk," Maya asked her as she sat on Riley's bed and began to take her shoes off.

"Nope. A little buzzed, but definitely aware of my surroundings. You?" Riley stumbled slightly as she walked towards her closet.

"A little drunk," she admitted. They both laughed until Maya put a finger to her lips. "Shh…don't wake your parents! They'll ground us."

"We're 22, Maya. They know we drink."

"Oh. Yeah. That's right." Maya laid back on Riley's bed. "Looked at your phone yet?"

Riley shook her head as she took her shoes off. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Maya sat up and faced Riley. "Yes. I love secrets. Tell me, tell me, tell me."

"You can't tell anyone. Not even Josh."

"My lips are sealed," she pinched her index finger and thumb together and slid them across her lips.

Riley walked around the bed and toward her desk. "I applied to another grad school a few months ago." She pulled the envelope out from the top drawer. She handed it to Maya.

"Texas A&M, Riley?" Maya opened it. "You got in."

"Yeah. Now I don't know what to do." She sat beside her best friend. "Do I go and hope that it makes it all better or do I stay here with you guys and…" she couldn't finish the sentence. "I don't want to go there for the wrong reasons. If everything doesn't work out with...you know...I don't want to regret going."

Maya thought for a moment. "That's a tough one, Riles. When do you have to decide?"

"I got early admission, so I do have a few months to decide. Part of me was hoping I wouldn't get into both schools. That way the decision would be made for me."

"No, you have to decide what you want. You need to control your own life."

Riley stood back up, took the letter from Maya and put it back in the drawer. She picked up her phone. No messages, no calls. "Maybe he'll make the decision for us both," she tossed her phone to Maya as she walked to her dresser to pull out some pajama pants and a tank top.

Maya scrolled through Riley's phone. "That son of a—"

"Maya," Riley scolded.

"How can you handle this? I can't even handle watching you handle this." Maya scrunched her face. That made sense, right?

Riley ran a hand through her hair, searching for an answer. "I'm Understanding Riley."

"Huh?" Now Maya was really confused.

"I always say that I understand. I've been able to fool myself for a long time with it, but lately, saying that I understand when I don't is making me feel…sick. I can't keep saying it. It's a lie. I don't understand. I don't understand why he spends so much time with Dr. Lunsford. I don't understand why he pulls so many all nighters with Nick. I don't understand why he feels like he has to be at the ranch at all times to supervise when his uncle lives there and his grandfather tells all of the workers exactly what to do. I don't understand why he doesn't call or text me for days on end. I don't understand why he can't visit for more than two or three days at a time and when he does, we just get into arguments. I don't understand why he can't go to Paris with his own girlfriend after graduation. I don't understand any of it and I'm so tired of acting like I do."

Maya walked over to her overnight bag and grabbed her pajamas. "You're tired. Let's get some sleep. You've had a long night."

"I've had a long two years."

* * *

Lucas finally texted her wishing her a Happy New Year around 7:00pm the following evening. Riley sent a simple "thanks" in response. Lucas knew he had messed up, again, but he couldn't help it. He was in the biology lab the whole night before with Nic working on some pre-lab work for a class that hadn't even started yet. He ended up crashing around 6:00 am, woke up around 11:00 and immediately when to the animal hospital on campus to work with Dr. Lunsford. He remembered that afternoon that he hadn't spoken with Riley. As soon as he got back to his apartment, around 10:00pm, he logged on his computer to see if she was online. She wasn't. He grabbed his phone and dialed her number. He wasn't too surprised that he saw Maya answer it. He was surprised to hear club music playing in the background.

"Hmmm," Maya answered, looking at Lucas's face for a moment, "You remind me of a guy I knew once…name is escaping me for a moment. You know, he dated my best friend for a long time. We don't hear from him much anymore."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Hey Maya."

"There are so many things I want to say to you…" she let out a frustrated breath, "but I promised Riles that I wouldn't get involved."

"Involved? What are you talking about? And where are you? Where is Riley?"

"We are out," she waved the phone around the club and pointed the camera to Farkle, John, and Josh who all waved. "Your girl has a gig tonight," she turned the phone around so Lucas could see Riley standing in a DJ booth, headphones on, fully concentrated on what she was doing. Maya let the camera linger on her for a few moments before spinning it back around. "As you can see, Riley is busy at the moment."

"Will you tell her that I called?"

Maya nodded, but Lucas couldn't tell if she was nodding at him or nodding her head to the beat of the song that was playing.

"Tell her that I'm sorry and that I love her."

"Tell her yourself," Maya said bluntly. "Seriously. We won't be home til late, but you should call her sometime tomorrow if you can't wait up tonight." Maya sighed. "It's important that you do."

Lucas closed his eyes for a moment. "Am I losing her, Maya?"

"She doesn't want me to get involved," she repeated, "but I will tell you that she's barely hanging on right now. Fix it."

* * *

Riley decided to spend the night in Lucas's room at Farkle's apartment. She didn't want to risk waking her parents or Auggie up at 4:30am. After saying goodnight to Farkle, she closed the bedroom door and went through her overnight bag to grab her pajamas. She walked into the bathroom and began taking her jewelry off. She looked in the mirror. She wore the necklace that Lucas had sent to her for Christmas. She reached behind her neck to unclasp it. She held it in her hand for a few moments, tracing the outline of the bird. God how she wished she was one in that moment. She would just fly to him. Her phone rang, snapping her out of her daze. _Who would be calling at 4 in the morning?_ She walked over to her phone. Surprised by who it was, she answered it. "Hey."

"Hey," Lucas said. He watched Riley walk back into the bathroom. He recognized where she was immediately. "Staying at Farkle's tonight?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to wake mom and dad. It's pretty late." She paused. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, well…no…nothing like that."

She chuckled at his indecisiveness. "Ok?" She sat the phone up against the mirror so she could continue getting ready for bed. "You don't mind, do you? I have got to take this gunk off," she gestured to the makeup on her face.

"No, it's fine," he smiled. "How was the gig?"

She took out one of her makeup remover wipes and began to wipe her face. "Good."

He chuckled. "Care to elaborate?"

She stopped rubbing her face and looked over at the phone. "You've never really seemed interested in it before."

"I am interested," he encouraged.

She faced the mirror once more and began to rub her eyes with the wipe. "Well, there were a few set-up issues and then one of the speakers blew, but John had a back-up in his van. Luckily that was the only catastrophe. People seemed to enjoy themselves. I played some of the new stuff I've been working on over break. They seemed to like it."

"Good. I want to hear them sometime."

Riley furrowed her eyebrows together. "You don't have time for that. And besides," she glanced back at her phone, "It's not important."

"Everything you do is important."

Riley tried not to laugh. Lately it felt like everything she did was unimportant to him. She was determine to not let on though. She didn't want to add to his stress level. She chose to remain quiet, and focus on getting the rest of her makeup off.

"I'm sorry I didn't call last night. I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you."

"It's fine. I texted that to you earlier."

"I know you did. Doesn't meant I'm not still sorry about it. Riley, please don't think that you aren't the most important part of my life."

Riley threw the makeup remover wipe in the trashcan. She then proceeded to pull her hair back into a messy bun. She took a deep, steady breath. "I don't think that," she lied.

"Riley, how could you not? We've barely spoken the last few months, I had to basically cancel spending winter break with you in New York, I got so preoccupied with things that I didn't call you on your birthday, I'm not able to go to Paris with you this summer, and I forgot to call you for New Year's. Not to mention the fact that I broke John's nose the day after your birthday. I'm the worst boyfriend in the world."

Riley grabbed the phone and walked back into the bedroom. She sat on the bed. "We already talked about what happened with John." She shrugged. "You're just busy. I understand that."

"And you're an angel for that, but I know it's getting to you. It's getting to me too and I'm the one who keeps screwing up."

She was unsure about where this conversation was headed. "Ok, so what are you saying?"

"I'm going to do better. I am." He turned the camera to face his computer. "Starting with this."

Riley couldn't really see the screen. "What's that?"

"A confirmation for my flight to New York for spring break." He turned the camera back toward him. "I've already told Dr. Lunsford and my uncle. No excuses, nothing that will shorten it, and no drama. I know it's not enough to make all of this up to you."

Riley smiled at him. She was trying not to get too excited, because she was used to the rug being pulled out from under her lately, but part of her did hope that she would see him in a few months. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I miss you…more than words can say."

"Hang on a second, ok?" She saw him nod. She grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to change really quickly. She sprinted back to the bed and crawled underneath the covers. Once comfortable, she reached for her phone. "Go lay down," she softly commanded.

He stood up and went to lay in his bed.

"I just want to fall asleep with you next to me," she told him once he laid down.

"I do too." He sat the phone up on the pillow next to him.

"I really miss you, Lucas. I miss us."

"I miss us too, Riley. I love you."

She smiled at him. "I love you too."

They both closed their eyes. Within minutes, they were both fast asleep, still facetiming each other. When she heard him snoring, Riley smiled in her sleep. In her dreams, they were together, holding each other. They had no other obligations, no outside world trying to pull them apart.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Silkycatastrophe: YES! My point with this story (well, all of them, but especially this one) is to get you to FEEL her side of things. This story is all about feelings and the emotions that happen when your relationship gets tested by things in and out of your control. Thank you for LOVING the "Pluto" reference. "Pluto" is one of my favorites so far this season and I can't stop looking at Lucas looking at Riley in that scene. It may not have been in the script, but the way he looks at her while she was looking for the bird was...gah...it gets me every time. And you are dead on about her losing herself. They both are. I haven't shown Lucas's side of things that much (I did it that way on purpose), but the flashes I have shown of him, I've tried to convey that he's also losing his sense of self (breaking John's nose).  
**_

 _ **Shapeshifter 1947: Ahhh! Thank you so much! Your review made me smile! You may not believe this, but I LOVE the fluff. I feel like drama is my specialty, but I LOVE writing fluff. I loved writing that last part with them falling asleep while face timing each other. So cute and something I could see them doing.**_

 _ **RUCAS FOREVER: He'll find out. :)**_

 _ **Everyone else: THANKS for all the love! You have no idea how much these reviews mean to me.**_

 _ **Short chapter ahead, but I had to end it where I did. Sorry about the lyrics formatting as well. I couldn't get Word to cooperate with me with it and leave it single spaced, so it doesn't look very appealing, but oh well. I've been hinting at something throughout the whole story about something that happens in this chapter. I'm sort of curious if anyone caught on to it? Or if you just thought it was a typo? Also, I just brainstormed my next multi-chapter fic. It doesn't have a name or anything written out other than the basic plot. It's an AU. It's going to be lighter than "Stay" and "Go", but will still have the drama that I seem to love to write. Speaking of drama (please, don't kill me)...**_

* * *

Chapter Eight

Things got better…for a little while. In the beginning, Lucas and Riley had a continuous texting conversation where it didn't take longer than a few hours in between replies. He called her every night before she went to bed. They also skyped with each other a few days a week. After a few weeks, the continuous texting conversation ended, he started to only call her a few nights a week, and they skyped about once a week. By early February, they were only talking to each other a few times a week and only texting when there was some sort of news to share. Riley still hadn't told him about graduate school. She knew she was being hypocritical about it: she initially broke up with him in high school because he was keeping his acceptance in to A&M away from her. Now she was keeping her's, from NYU and A&M, from him. She couldn't explain why. She just never felt quite comfortable in their conversations to talk about it. She always felt like she was bothering him somehow.

* * *

Riley sat at her computer, music playing, as she worked on her senior thesis paper for her senior seminar psychology class. "Freud, you are one interesting guy," she mumbled as she typed. Normally the thought of writing papers made her cringe, but she loved psychology. She understood it. The thought of being a counselor one day made her happier than DJing any club in the city. She wanted to do some good in the world. She stood up to grab one of her reference books when an envelope fell. Riley picked it up and opened it. The tickets to Paris. She sighed as she sat back down, tickets still in hand. She studied them as she started to listen to the words of the song playing on her computer.

 _And it's been two years_

 _And I miss my home_

 _But there's a fire burning in my bones_

 _And I still believe yeah I still believe_

Riley slid the tickets back into the envelope. She looked down at the necklace she wore. She reached up and touched the small bird that hung around her neck and smiled. _'Pluto,'_ she smiled. She took a deep breath as she saved her paper and closed out of the window. She pulled up the internet browser and began typing.

Maya laughed as she came into the dorm room. "Fine, ok. I'm back now. Maybe. Josh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?! Ooh, maybe later. Ok. Love you too," she hung up. She smiled at Riley. "Sorry, Riles."

"Sorry for what," she asked as she continued to type, completely lost in her own world.

Maya gestured to her phone. "I know you don't like it when Josh and I...you know..."

"Gross," Riley shuddered. She was happy that her friend was in love, and her uncle was one of the best people Riley knew, but still...he was her uncle. People should not know about their uncle's love lives. She still didn't look up at Maya. She was too focused on what she was doing.

Maya walked over to her. "Is Freud really that interesting?"

She smiled. "He is, but that's not what I'm doing."

"What are you doing?" Maya peered over Riley's shoulder.

Riley clicked on the mouse a few times, then stood up. "I'm going to Texas!"

 _And all those things I didn't say_

 _Wrecking balls inside my brain_

 _I will scream them loud tonight_

 _Can you hear my voice?_

Riley sprinted over to her closet and grabbed her suitcase. She placed it on her bed before she started throwing clothes into it. "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day," she told Maya as she walked back to her closet.

"Yeah…" Maya frowned, "What does that have to do with-ooooh," she nodded. "Ok, so you're making the move this time...going to see him."

"Yeah," she carried a handful of clothes as she walked over to her bed and laid them down. She began to fold the clothes quickly. "I have to do something, right? Something that will change what's going on. He and I need to talk about everything. I need to tell him how I feel about everything and how I want to fight for us." She stopped packing and looked at Maya to gauge her reaction. "I have a show tonight, but after I'm leaving for the airport."

"Your show won't be over until like 3."

"My flight is at 6am." She started packing again. "I don't want to go another Valentine's Day without seeing him. I want to check out A&M's campus anyway. I don't have any classes tomorrow and then the long weekend with President's Day, so it just seems like the perfect time to go."

"When are you going to sleep?"

"I'll sleep on the plane. I'm sure he has class tomorrow, so I'll sleep then too. I just…I have to go, Maya." She sat down on her bed. "I feel like…I don't know…Am I crazy? I just feel like I need to be there. I need to see him."

"I don't think you're crazy. I think that you've been away from him for two years and you two aren't communicating very well and it's changing you...both of you." Maya grabbed one of Riley's shirts and folded it for her. She placed it in the bag. "I think you should go. Maybe you'll gain some clarity about everything. It beats moping around for the next...four years." Maya put an arm around her friend. "I'm fully supportive of this. He's made the big romantic gestures in the past. Now it's your turn."

"I'm not sure how romantic it's going to be. We have so much to talk about. Things need to change."

Maya walked over to their mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. "Ok, so you'll spend five minutes hashing it all out, then you'll spend the rest of the weekend in bed together."

Riley laughed. "Not likely. He's so busy."

Maya scoffed before taking a sip of the water, "Please. You'll be in Texas for the weekend. I highly doubt he will want to do anything else."

 _This time this is my fight song_

 _Take-back-my-life song_

* * *

Riley couldn't sit still during the whole flight, let alone try to get some sleep. She had a million thoughts running through her mind. She felt so disconnected from him. Though things had been a little better, they still weren't great. She was beginning to talk to him less and less again and she didn't even feel comfortable enough to tell him about grad school, probably the most important thing going on in her life. She felt like she was shutting him out…trying to protect herself for some reason. She knew something had to change soon. She wanted to be open with him, share her thoughts, feelings, dreams with him again. She wanted to see him…to reassure herself that he was still the same Lucas she fell in love with.

Her heart pounded when she found his apartment. She knocked on the door and waited. After a few minutes she knocked again. She knew it was early, but she couldn't wait any longer. She just had to see him…had to be in his arms. She had to know that their connection was still there. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard some fumbling around and then a crash. Worried, she tried the doorknob, it was unlocked. She opened the door and saw a disheveled, sleepy, shirtless Lucas stumbling toward the door. She sat her luggage down next to her while Lucas walked towards her.

"Lucas," she greeted. She tried not laugh when she saw him. He looked so cute with his hair sticking out in every direction imaginable. She smiled when she saw how confused he looked.

"Riley," Lucas rubbed his eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"I came because I wanted to tell you that I…" her words trailed off as she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. She shifted her eyes over Lucas's shoulder and saw a young blonde woman dressed in one of Lucas's shirts and nothing else. The woman closed Lucas's bedroom door behind her as she walked closer to the pair, but still lingered behind Lucas. Riley cut her eyes back to Lucas. She made a mental note of his appearance again. He had no shirt on and clearly had just woken up. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in her head. "Oh my God," she said softly, her voice hitched. She placed her hand over her mouth as her eyes shifted between the pair.

Lucas turned to see what Riley was looking at and then back at her. "Riley, it's not what it looks like."

The blonde woman took another step forward. "Lucas, who's that," she purred.

Riley started to back up slowly. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. This had to be a nightmare. Her head was spinning, her mind completely blanked out. "I-I-I-I'm sorry I-I-I interrupted," her hand found the door knob. She turned it quickly and ran as fast as she could out of his apartment.

"Riley," Lucas called, running after her. He didn't even think about his appearance. He just knew that he had to get to her. He had to stop her from leaving. He ran as fast as he could. Thankfully years of playing baseball finally paid off. He finally caught up to her when they were in the parking lot of his apartment building. He grabbed her arms and spun her around. "Riley," he panted, "please listen to me."

She tried to blink back the tears that had formed in her eyes as a burning white hot anger built up inside of her. "No! You're going to listen to me. I came here to spend Valentine's Day with you. I flew 2000 miles on NO sleep to try to work ALL of this out…the weirdness between us, the anger, the frustration, the secrets…all of it. Because I wanted to work it out with you...because I loved you. Meanwhile, you…" she gestured to the building behind her, "You…" Tears streamed down her face. She wasn't sure how she was even speaking at the moment. Her mind was somewhere else entirely. She felt so disconnected from everything in that moment. He took a step toward her, his hands still on her arms. She pushed him off of her. "Get off of me." She looked him in the eyes as tears slid down her face. She didn't even attempt to wipe them away. She didn't care about that. At that moment, she didn't care about anything. "You don't get to touch me anymore. You don't get to call me. You don't get to text, email, face time, whatever. You don't get to think about me. I'm done."

She turned to leave, but Lucas grabbed her and tried to pull her close to him. "Riley, listen…Nic was just…"

She laughed. Was he really going to try to pin the girl that was in his apartment as being with Nick? "Nick? What does he have to do with this?" She tried to break free from his grip, but he wouldn't let her go.

Lucas shook his head. "He? Riley, Nick is a girl."

She immediately stopped struggling and turned to face him. They were eye to eye…so close to one another that they could hear each others hearts' pounding. "Some study session huh?" She used all of her strength to get out of his embrace. She took several steps backward. "Stay away from me. It should be easy for you…you've been doing a great job of it for the last two years." She spun around and ran as far as her legs would take her. When she was sure that he wasn't following her anymore, she pulled out her phone and called a cab to take her to the airport. She felt like her brain was going to explode. This had to be some nightmare. A nightmare that she would wake up from, right?

* * *

 _ **Another A/N: Nic and Nick. I tried to hint about it in previous chapters. When Lucas always spoke about her, I spelled it as Nic. When Maya and Riley mentioned Nick, I added the "k". I tried to be sneaky. Also, I say again...please don't kill me!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter! All of you guys are amazing! I didn't want you guys hanging out on that cliff hanger for too long, so here's Chapter Nine! There is a BMW reference in here too. See if you can spot it! :)**_

* * *

Chapter Nine

"Riley, are you sure," Maya asked once Riley told her the whole story. Maya couldn't believe anything that had happened in the last eight hours. Riley called her at the airport and just told her that she was coming back to New York. She didn't sound upset. She didn't sound happy. She didn't even sound like Riley. She sounded like a zombie or a robot...completely emotionless. Since Josh was still at work, Maya picked Riley up from JFK a few hours later. Riley didn't say much of anything on the cab ride back to the dorm. Maya couldn't help but stare at her the whole ride back. She knew her best friend. Something bad had happened. Something really bad. Now that Maya had heard what had happened, she couldn't seem to wrap her brain around it. He was cheating?

"She was wearing one of the button down shirts I bought him and she…didn't have much of anything else on," she said softly before looking down at her hands. The image of that girl was seared into her skull. Every time she blinked, she saw blonde hair, blue eyes, and the blue button down shirt Riley had sent to Lucas in a care package last fall. "I'm sure."

Maya thought about it for a moment. None of this made sense. Lucas had been in love with Riley since the moment he saw her, it seemed like. She always thought he would move heaven and earth to be with her, to protect her, to make her happy. Why cheat on her? They were all friends. If he felt that things weren't working out, wouldn't he have just broken them off before moving on? "It's just that…it doesn't sound like the Lucas we've known forever."

Riley rubbed her head. She still felt so disconnected from the situation, but slowly, she began to realize what she saw and what was happening. She had been numb for so long. She didn't allow herself to think about any of the emotional components to what happened. "He's changed, Maya. We've been saying that for months now."

"Yeah, but we all have. It's a part of growing up," Maya hesitated to speak her mind, but she had to. Her best friend was hurting and if there was a chance that this whole thing was some sort of misunderstanding, it needed to be addressed. "I know things have been rough with you two, but I don't think he would cheat on you. This is Lucas Friar we are talking about. 'Lucas the Good', remember?"

Riley studied her hands. She didn't want to look at Maya. She just wanted to stay lost. She didn't want her brain to connect the events of the last eight hours. Her heart knew it would shatter if her brain started to function again. "It makes sense once you think about it. All those times he had to pull all nighters with his lab partner...all of those close projects."

"I thought his lab partner was a guy named Nick." Maya was officially lost. What did he have to do with any of this?

"Or a girl named Nicole…goes by Nic…no k." Riley finally looked up at Maya. "She's gorgeous." Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I am such an idiot." She shook her head. She should've known something was going on. He had been too different. They had been too different. The misunderstandings, the lack of communication, the fighting...it made sense to Riley now. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"I'll get it," Maya stood up.

Riley rubbed her eyes. Part of her was still trying to convince the other part of her that she was just dreaming. That this whole day was a nightmare. She was begging herself to wake up. She slowly opened her eyes. Nope. She was still sitting here...with the image of _Nic_ half naked coming out of his bedroom playing repeatedly in her mind.

A young man holding a bouquet of two dozen red and white roses smiled at Maya after she opened the door. "Delivery for Riley Matthews."

"Oh no," Maya groaned. "Yeah," she sighed, "she's here." She signed for the flowers, then took them from the delivery guy. After he left, Maya turned to face Riley. "Where do you want them? Trash?"

Riley shook her head. "I forgot it was Valentine's Day." She stood up and walked over to her friend. She grabbed the card inside. _'Whatever our souls are made of, hers and mine are the same. I miss you. I love you, Lucas'_ Riley handed the note to Maya to read. She just couldn't say those words right now.

After Maya read it, she sighed, "Who knew he was a poet?"

"It's from Wuthering Heights." Her favorite quote from her favorite book. All at once, it happened. Reading that note triggered something in Riley. Reality came crashing toward her. Everything that had happened over the last day finally reached her brain and her heart. Riley turned and slowly walked back to her bed. Instead of sitting down, she laid down, pulling her comforter around her shoulders. She felt sick. She felt like someone was punching her repeatedly in the stomach.

Maya sat the card down next to the flowers and moved to sit across from where Riley laid. "Ok, so Nic is a girl?! And he never mentioned that?" Maya heard Riley sniffle quietly. "I'm so sorry," Maya moved to lay next to her best friend. She saw the tears trickle out of Riley's eyes. Maya wrapped her arms around her and stroked her hair, "I wish I knew what to say."

Riley nodded. "Me too." Her breathing was ragged. With every breath, it felt like knives were stabbing her heart. It was unbearable. "I wish I could take one breath without feeling like I want to die," she started sobbing. Riley suddenly realized that this wasn't a nightmare that she would wake up from. This was her life. This was happening to her.

Maya held her for about an hour as Riley just sobbed and mumbled incoherently. She decided right then and there that she would kill Lucas the next time she saw him. How could he do that to her? It made no logical sense, but then again, long distance relationships are brutal. She looked down at Riley, who had finally fallen sleep. Two years apart and only able to see each other a few times during that period must be tough. Didn't excuse anything that had happened between them the last few months. Things had completely spiraled out of control. Maya shook her head. If Riley and Lucas couldn't survive long distance, she didn't think anyone could. Her phone buzzed, Maya carefully leaned over to grab it. She opened her text messages and frowned. Riley must've turned her phone off, because Lucas was now texting her. She took a deep breath before typing a response to him:

 _Maya: She's back in New York. She told me. You're such an asshole. Leave her alone. Leave me alone._

 _Lucas: Maya, it's not what it looked like. She didn't let me explain._

 _Maya: A girl comes out of your bedroom practically naked, wearing one of your shirts and it's not what it seems? Screw you dude. All she wanted was to make things better between you two and you go and hurt her like this?! You're a moron! I'm done here._

Maya turned her phone off.

* * *

When Riley woke up, she noticed that it was dark outside. She must've slept the whole afternoon. Maya wasn't around, but Riley didn't think she would be. It was Valentine's Day. She must've been on a date with Josh. Valentine's Day. Riley sat up and saw the flowers sitting on her desk. She stared at them for a long minute before she stood up and walked toward them. She pulled out one of the red roses and sniffed it. "Love is for suckers," she said quietly before snapping the stem of the rose and throwing it in the trashcan by her desk. She picked up the vase and threw it across the room, shattering the glass. Water and roses scattered everywhere, but Riley didn't care. She looked back at her desk and saw the framed pictures that sat on top of her hutch. Some were of Maya and her, some were of the whole group, and some were of Lucas and her. Riley grabbed the first one she saw of Lucas and her, the day she and Maya moved into the dorm, about a week after they had gotten back together. She looked at it for a few moments. They looked so happy as Lucas's arms were wrapped around Riley's waist as he stood behind her, kissing the top of her head as she grinned. She closed her eyes as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks. She opened her eyes as her grip tightened on the picture. She spun around and threw it across the room, in the same direction as she threw the flowers. She grabbed a few more pictures of them and threw them all toward the other side of the room.

Maya heard the crashes before opening the door. Panicked, she rushed in. "Riley!" She looked around. There was broken glass, picture frames, flowers, and water everywhere.

Riley ignored her as she scrambled to climb onto her desk to reach the collage of pictures that hung on the wall. In one fell swoop, she ripped it in half, half in her hand and the other half still on the wall. She took the half in her hand and ripped it two…three times before throwing the pictures in the trash. She reached up and pulled down the other half, balling the pictures up before throwing them away.

Maya walked up to Riley as she climbed down from the desk and began to look around for other photos. Maya grabbed Riley from behind and hugged her, pining Riley's arms down. "Riley! Riley, calm down. You have to calm down."

Riley let out a sob as she turned to face Maya, hugging her tightly. They stood there for a few minutes as Maya tried to console her. She had no idea what to say. When they broke up in high school, Riley kept it all bottled in. She didn't really talk about her feelings. This time, she was letting every emotion out at the same time. Riley was normally the rational one, the optimistic one. It was hard for Maya to see her like this. She looked around the room. "Redecorating?" It was lame, she knew, but she wanted Riley to smile.

She didn't smile, but her sobs slowly subsided as she pulled back from the hug. "I-I'm sorry," she looked at the mess across from the room. "Oh God. Maya, I'm so sorry. I'll clean it up."

"Don't worry about it. I grabbed some take out and some horror movies." She tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal that Riley seemed to be having a nervous breakdown. Maya had no idea what to do to help her. All she knew was that she wasn't about to leave her best friend alone. She was there for their first breakup, she would be here for this.

"What?" Riley took a step back. "Maya, it's Valentine's Day."

"So?" Maya walked over to her desk where the take out bags were.

Riley ran a hand through her disheveled hair. "You should be with your valentine."

Maya smiled. "I am."

"I appreciate that, but what about Josh?"

Maya waved her hand dismissively. "He'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Tonight, it's me and you and 'Texas Gutsuckers 14'."

"Go ahead and eat," Riley told her, "I want to get a shower."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it might help clear my head."

* * *

The hot water stung initially, but after a few moments, Riley got used to the temperature. She closed her eyes as she just listened to the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the tub. She took a few deep breaths. She had to pull herself together. Destroying the dorm room wasn't going to make her feel any better and she didn't want Maya to worry about her. She had already been through that the first time Lucas and her broke up. She wasn't about to drag her best friend through that again. Besides, that was four years ago. She was a grown woman now. She was getting ready to start grad school for counseling. She had to think about this rationally. Maybe her life would be easier now. She didn't have to focus so much of her time and energy on someone who never really seemed to be there. She could fully be herself now. She didn't have to hide parts of herself. She loved being a DJ. She loved seeing people dancing and happy and knowing that she was part of the reason for it. She liked going out with Maya and her other friends on the weekends. Maybe this time, the breakup would be easier. She wouldn't see him every day like when they were in high school. Maybe they should've ended it when he left. Maybe this was for the best. Riley opened her eyes. If she really thought it was for the best, then why did her heart feel so shattered? Why did she feel nauseous at the thought of a future without him? She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves.

* * *

When Riley came out of the bathroom, she noticed that Maya had cleaned up the mess that Riley made. "Thanks," Riley told her.

"It's what I'm here for," Maya gave her a small smile. "I boxed up everything else that I saw and stuck it in my closet."

"Thank you." Riley walked over to her dresser and opened one of her drawers. That's when she saw it. The ring still on her finger. Her hands moved up to her neck. She still had the necklace on too. She reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace. She looked at it for a long moment. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

Riley walked over to her and dropped the necklace in her hand. Maya noticed that Riley's hands shook as she pulled the ring off and placed it next to the necklace. "Get rid of these. I don't care what you do with them. Sell them, throw them in the trash, whatever. I just…don't want to see them."

Maya nodded. "You need to eat."

Riley smiled. "Thank you, Maya." She grabbed the sesame chicken box and sat at her desk. "Can you do me one more favor?"

"Anything."

"In my rush to leave, I…my luggage is still…at his place." Another dumb move on her part. All she could think of at the time was to get out. She completely forgot about her bag.

Maya grabbed her phone and turned it on. "I'm on it." Once her phone was on, she had 7 missed calls and 10 texts, all from Lucas. She let out a frustrated breath. "Seriously," she grumbled.

"What's wrong?" Riley took a small bite of her food. She hadn't even thought about food for the last 24 hours. She still wasn't hungry, her knotted stomach made sure of that, but she was going to try to act as normal as she could. Maybe she would get back to normal if she faked it long enough.

"Nothing," Maya told her as she read through Lucas's texts. Of course, he was denying the whole thing. Something about a study session running late and Nic sleeping over and him sleeping on the couch. Some of the things he had sent to her made sense, but it didn't align with Riley's story. Why would she wear one of his shirts and come out just in his shirt and nothing else? Maya shook her head. She had inserted herself in their lives since they met one another. She was not going to get in the middle of this one. This was way out of her range of meddling. The best thing she could do at this point was to support Riley. "Are you ok if I step out to call Josh really fast?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she swallowed her food and looked over at Maya. "I wish you'd go out with him tonight."

"Nope. Girl's night." Maya gave her a small smile before leaving the room.

* * *

Maya dialed Josh's number as soon as she walked into the floor's common area. She sat on one of the couches and started biting her nails as she waited for him to answer. "Hey."

"Hey gorgeous," his smooth voice said on the line. "How is she?"

Maya ran a hand through her hair. What a loaded question. Riley had displayed several different emotions over the course of the last few hours. It was like she was going through the stages of grief right before Maya's eyes. "Well, when I came back in from grabbing the movie and take-out she had pretty much trashed the room. She took a shower and is eating now."

Josh was quiet for a moment. "Lucas has been texting me."

"Me too," Maya said, "I don't want to get in the middle of it, but I needed to talk to someone about it. What do you think happened?"

He let out a sigh. "I don't know. There's always two sides to every story, but I talked to him about half an hour ago on the phone and…he sounded pretty convincing."

Maya frowned. "Wait, you actually talked to the guy?"

"Well, yeah, he's one of my best friends."

"And he cheated on your niece," she hissed. "And your girlfriend's best friend. That's got to mean something. I swear if I talked to him right now, I'd tell him what a-"

"Calm down, Maya," he interrupted. "I'm just trying to figure out what happened."

"Riley saw what she saw, Josh."

"I'm not saying that's not what she saw. Lucas told me that he woke up on the couch to her knocking on the door. He was only half awake when he let her in. He doesn't know why Nic came out only dressed in one of his shirts. Maya, he sounded so…distraught." Josh couldn't get Lucas's voice out of his head. He had known the guy for ten years now and never heard him sound so upset. He actually choked up several times during their conversation. He didn't even try to hide it from him. Josh couldn't remember ever seeing Lucas anything but composed (aside from that John incident). The guy on the phone seemed so lost, like the sun wouldn't shine again. It just didn't sound the voice of a guy who cheated on his girlfriend.

"He should. Josh, either way he had a gorgeous blonde spending the night in his apartment without telling Riley. We didn't even know Nic was a girl! Maybe he's just sorry he got caught." Maya's anger was starting to build. She was in disbelief, much like Riley was, until she heard Josh talk more and more about how Lucas felt. Screw how he felt. This was his fault.

"Maya," Josh warned.

"No, I'm serious. He's been gone for basically two years, right? They've barely seen one another. He's had to cancel trips here to see her, he doesn't call her, doesn't text. There was friction when he was here. He forgot her damn birthday. He broke John's nose. Whenever they did talk, he always had to go work on projects with Nic. All nighters with Nic. Always something with Nic. Nic was a priority, Riley wasn't. Two years of this, Josh. To me, that's more than enough reason to end it...even if he didn't cheat, which I don't believe." Maya was seething.

Josh regretted opening his mouth. He knew how protective Maya was over Riley. He just wanted the truth to come out so they all could resolve this. "I get that Maya, but I feel like she needs to hear him out."

"That's her decision."

"What's her decision," Riley asked as she walked into the room.

Maya handed her the phone. "Talk to your uncle."

"Hey Josh," Riley said once she had the phone. She moved to sit next to Maya on the couch. "Happy Valentine's Day," she said weakly.

"Hey Riles. How are—dumb question." _'Smooth move, Matthews,'_ he thought to himself.

"It's ok. I'm…here, I guess," she had no idea what else to say.

"Listen, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I talked to Lucas. Riley, I think you should talk to him about this." Josh wasn't very hopeful that she would talk to him right now, but he had to ask.

"You're right," she nodded, "I really don't want to hear this right now. I'm sorry. Here's Maya," she handed the phone back to her friend. "I'll be in the room," she told her before walking out.

"See? She's not ready for that," Maya sighed.

"Are you mad at me?"

Maya stood up and started to pace. "No. I'm mad at him. Josh, even IF he didn't do it, and at this point, it's a BIG IF, the fact that he would allow himself to be put in this situation is grounds for an ass kicking."

"Trust me, Maya, I felt the same way when I first saw that he was trying to call me." Josh almost didn't answer his phone. His desire to protect his niece and give Lucas a piece of his mind prevailed. Josh berated Lucas a good five minutes before Lucas said a word. When he did, Josh decided right then and there that there was something more to the story than what Riley saw.

"Listen, I need a favor."

"Anything."

"She left her stuff there."

"In Texas?"

"Yeah. Can you get him to send it back?"

"Sure. I'll text him now."

Maya stopped pacing and moved to sit back down on the couch. "Thanks. I was going to ask Farkle, but I'm not sure how much or what he knows at this point. Not even sure how he would handle this. He's Lucas's best friend, but he's always been so protective over us."

Josh chuckled. "You're telling me. You better know how much I love you with everything he put me through when we started dating."

"He wasn't that bad."

"He hooked me up to a lie detector and told me that if I lied, I would be shocked with the electrodes he attached on my forehead."

Maya laughed. "Yeah, that was pretty funny."

* * *

Lucas couldn't sit still. After Nic left, he contemplated hopping on the first flight to New York. He must've tried to call her a hundred times and sent twice as many text messages. He knew that she turned her phone off. She had gotten into the habit of doing that when they broke up in high school. Whenever something was bothering her, she would just turn her phone off, or leave home without it. He had tried calling and texting Maya several times, but she had done the same thing after sending him a message saying that Riley had made it back to New York safely. He tried Farkle next, but again, no answer. Lucas figured that he must've been in class or something because even if he was mad, Farkle would always let you know it. Lucas tried Josh next. When he answered, Lucas was relieved. Thank God someone would hear him out.

Josh had a brief conversation with Maya when she told him that they would have to postpone Valentine's Day plans, so he had an idea of what was going on before Lucas even spoke. He wasn't happy with Lucas, and even yelled at him for about five minutes before Lucas could get a word in, but he knew they guy well enough to know that there had to be two sides to this story. After hearing him out, and talking to Maya again about Riley, Josh was convinced that something just didn't add up. Instead of texting him about Riley's luggage, Josh decided to call Lucas back. "Hey man."

"Hey." Lucas laid in his bed, as he had ever since Nic left the apartment. He skipped classes, skipped his internship, and didn't go to dinner with his family like he promised. He laid in bed all day and hadn't planned on getting up any time soon.

"Listen, I spoke to Maya."

Lucas sat up. "What'd she say? How's Riley doing? Is she going to talk to me? What about—"

"Woah, woah…calm down." Josh felt for his friend. He knew this was killing him. "Riley's…Riley." He wasn't going to tell him about her destruction of the dorm room. There was no need to. He knew it would just make Lucas feel worse about the whole thing. "Maya is with her. I talked to Riley for just a moment."

"Well, how did she sound? Is she going to call me or turn on her phone so I can call her? I'm sure she's—"

"Geez, cowboy, calm down." Josh mentally slapped himself. He had never called Lucas that. He must be hanging out with Maya too much. "She doesn't want to talk to me about it…so I'm sure that means that talking to you right now is off the table. The reason I'm calling is that Maya told me that Riley apparently left her luggage there?"

Lucas crawled out of bed against his better judgement and walked into the living room. There it sat...right by the front door. "Yeah, I'm looking at it right now."

"This is awkward, but is there any way you can send it back?"

"Yeah." He paused. "Should I go too? To see her?"

"I wouldn't right now…I know my niece pretty well. She's stubborn like the rest of us. It'll be awhile before she even begins to try to deal with all of this. It might do more harm than good if you come now."

Lucas wasn't really pleased with that answer, but he understood. He knew if he pushed too much that she would just run in the opposite direction. After getting off the phone with Josh, Lucas grabbed one of his notebooks and began to write a letter to Riley. Five drafts and two hours later, he was done. He folded it and unzipped one of the outer compartments of her luggage. He slipped the letter in, but as he was trying to zip it up, he knocked it over, two letters falling out of it. He slid his letter back in, but his eyes lingered on the other one. He wasn't about to open it until he saw where the letter came from. _'Texas A &M Office of Admissions?!'_ He had to know what was going on. He opened the letter and scanned the contents. "DAMN IT," he swore, standing up, dropping the letter. His temper was boiling. He rubbed his head in frustration for a minute before looking at the wall next to him. He couldn't help it, he punched it, leaving fist-sized hole in the wall. He looked at the hole for a moment before looking down at his hand. He had just gotten the cast taken off for breaking John's nose. Here he was throwing punches again. This time it was just the wall, but still...he didn't like this side of him. He was so mad he literally saw red. He wasn't mad at her. He was mad at himself, for being in this position. He had known for awhile that Nic had feeling for him, but they were lab partners. She knew he had a girlfriend. He never imagined anything would happen. He walked back into his room and turned on his computer. It was too late to make an appointment, but first thing Monday morning he would call every therapist in Austin if he had to...he needed to talk to someone.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Who has been pimping me out?! So many follows, favorites, and reviews between all of my fics over the last week. The response to all of them has been incredible. Sorry this is coming out a little later than normal. I've been working hard on "Pas De Deux", real life has been hectic, and honestly, this chapter was just added. I've been having a severe flow issue with the last chapter and the next chapter. I knew I needed something to bridge the two. This chapter honestly is one of my favorites in this story though, and instead of it just being a "filler", I realized that it's actually the whole point of this story. I'm quite proud of it, and I hope you enjoy it.**_

 _ **A few comments about a few reviews:**_

 _ **Silkycatastrophe & tytyrocks4u - I WISH I could take credit for the unintentional Texas Gutsuckers pun. I thought I was going to die laughing when I read both of your reviews about it! That IS the BMW reference! Remember when Eric had the underground slasher movie? It was the episode where Cory and Topanga FIRST became boyfriend and girlfriend thanks to Shawn asking Topanga out, which pushed Cory into it (hmmm...that plot sounds familiar...;) ). Anyway, the movie they were going to show before Feeny showed up was "Texas Gutsuckers (5 or 6...can't remember)". Also, tytyrocks4u, THANK YOU for thinking the titles are clever. I never intended to do a sequel to "Stay", but when I first started to debate it, I told myself if I did it, I would HAVE to call it "Go". **_

_**Oy, this A/N is super long, but EVERYONE...I think you're ALL amazing and fabulous and have GREAT taste in ships (and fics ;) ). I hope you ALL have seen the promo pics for GM Semi-Formal. My little Rucas heart is starting to cautiously hope again. Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'm planning on updating this one and "Pas De Deux" over the weekend as those chapters are about ready to go. :)**_

* * *

It was nearly 2 in the afternoon the next day when Riley woke up. Maya was still passed out, as usual. They had spent the whole night watching horror movies, vegging out on junk food, and just talking. It had been ages since they just had a girls' night in. Obviously, they both had wished the circumstances had been better, but it helped Riley absorb the events of that day. She was able to verbalize a lot of the different emotions she was feeling. Maya was there for her the whole night. She would laugh with Riley while Riley reminisced about the past. When the laughter turned to tears, Maya cried with Riley.

She smiled at her best friend, who snored not so softly on the other side of the room. Maya had been there for her through it all. Every joy and every sorrow for her entire life. She wasn't quite sure where she would be if she didn't have Maya Hart. She definitely wouldn't have had as many adventures or stories to tell. She wouldn't have the close relationship she had with her Uncle Shawn. She wouldn't have fallen into Lucas's lap on the subway that day.

Riley suddenly stopped her train of thought. Would that have been so bad? To not have ever met him? She only thought about it briefly before shaking her head. No. No matter what happened, no matter how much her heart ached, she knew that she would never regret that day. That day started a beautiful journey that she had the privledge to experience for ten years. No matter how they ended up, she knew she would never regret knowing him. Because of him, she knew what being in love felt like. She knew what a good relationship was. Sadly, because of him, she also now knew the signs of a worsening relationship. Maybe she had held on too long. Maybe she should've let him go when she forced him to go to A&M. Maybe she was being selfish by holding on for as long as she did.

She ran a hand through her hair. The Lucas she knew, the Lucas she loved had left long before she walked into his apartment the previous day. She mourned that Lucas: the guy whom she rode on a white horse with, the guy who came over after school to take care of her when she got sick, the guy who kept encouraging her to tryout for the cheerleading team (even though she knew she was terrible), the guy who helped her pass calculus, the guy she gave her first date, first kiss, first relationship, first time to. That was the relationship she missed. That was the guy she missed.

She wasn't going to miss the Lucas of the past few months. Sure he had shown flashes of the guy he used to be, but that was just it-just flashes...glimpses of how they used to be. Riley wasn't naive enough to think that things wouldn't change between them when he went to Texas. She knew they would. They had to in order for them to grow. She thought it would make them stronger. She thought they would prove to everyone that they could make it too. They could be one of the lucky ones: first love, true love. She walked over to her dresser and looked in the mirror.

She had changed just as he had. She focused on school, her friends, and her music. She got caught up in the people who were around her. She had become more cynical. She suddenly realized at that moment that she had lost herself. She had lost herself trying to save a failing relationship, in her 'DJ Riley' persona, in being the perfect student. She wasn't Riley Matthews anymore. She felt hopeless-the old Riley never felt like that. The old Riley wouldn't lose her hope and faith in life. The old Riley believed that in life, anything was possible: any dream, any hope, any amount of faith could make the impossible happen. In looking at her reflection, she felt as if a stranger looked back at her. This wasn't the life she wanted. She wanted rainbows and unicorns again. She wanted to go "la, la, la, la" again. She wanted to believe in the impossible again. A new mission in mind, she walked toward her closet. She stared at the clothes for a long moment before she pulled an armful out. She walked over to her bed and threw them on top of it. She went back to the closet to grab another armful.

Maya stirred. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Riley throw her clothes on her bed. She slowly sat up. "Riles? What's going on?"

"Maya, I'm not me anymore." She walked back to her closet to grab the last bit before returning to her bed. "This," she gestured to her clothes, "This," she pointed at her head, "and most importantly, this," she pointed at her heart. "I'm not Riley Matthews, perpetual optimist. I'm cold. I'm cynical." She looked up at her. "I don't want to be that. I want to be me."

It took Maya a minute to digest that. It was way too early to have to deal with the heavy stuff. On the other hand it was, Maya looked over at her alarm clock, 2 PM?! She looked back at Riley as she shook her head to wake herself up some. "So, the clothes?"

Riley shrugged as she looked at the pile. "They aren't me. They're who I thought I wanted to be. Who I thought I should be. DJ Riley. It's not me."

"Wait, so you're going to stop DJing?"

"I'm going to stop after graduation. I love music. The music isn't the problem. The persona that I created for myself is the problem. The mysterious, cynical New York 'it' party girl...that persona has infiltrated my life. And I don't want that anymore. So, I'm ditching the clothes. I'm going to wear what I want to wear, and do what I want to do. I want to be me again."

Maya grinned at her friend. "So, can I have the clothes?"

"Take 'em," Riley grinned.

"Yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaayyyy," Maya said as she jumped out of bed and walked over to where Riley stood.

"It's my thank you to you for putting up with me."

"Oh, Riles," she leaned over to hug her, "You know it's going to take a lot more than that to thank me, right?"

Riley chuckled. "Well, we'll always have Paris."

"And the shopping," Maya said dreamily.

"And the shopping," Riley agreed. She was glad Maya was going to Europe with her after graduation. They both needed this trip. It was still three months away, but Riley was already counting the days. She needed to get out of the city for a little while.

Riley looked around the room. It looked different with all of the pictures and mementos taken down, but it also felt like the beginning of a fresh start. She knew that she would be upset for awhile. It was only normal. She also started to feel that she would be ok, that she would finally be Riley Matthews again.

* * *

Lucas Friar shifted uncomfortably as he sat across from this therapist. He had already had a few appointments with her, but he still wasn't completely comfortable. Therapy. He knew he should've gone after punching John, but something held him back. He didn't really feel that he needed it. One outburst in ten years didn't seem like too big of a deal, even though he did break the guy's nose. When Lucas left a fist sized hole in his wall, he knew that he had to talk to someone. He felt his anger steadily spiraling out of control. Instead of being angry at the class bully, he was angry at himself. He couldn't get away from himself as easily as he avoided those who used to anger him the most.

He looked over at Dr. Ryan. She seemed nice when he met her at his consultation and through his first few appointments. He was relieved when he didn't have to lay on a couch and that she wasn't taking notes as he talked. She simply listened to him talk...talk about anything. He talked about playing baseball, talked about his family, talked about his life before moving to New York. Of course, she did guide the conversations some, but mostly, she just listened. He liked that.

"Ok Lucas," Dr. Ryan smiled, "so last time we talked about your expulsion from your middle school in Texas."

Lucas nodded. It was time to dive right in. "Yeah, it was my rock bottom...at least at that time. I was out of school for a year. I worked on my grandfather's ranch, tried to gain a little perspective," he chuckled, "or at least as much as a 12 year old could."

She leaned back in her seat. "And then the move happened."

"Yeah," he looked down at his hands, which were clasped together in his lap. "Dad got transferred to New York. I was angry then too. How dare they make that decision without consulting me? I was angry about it the whole month before we left."

"So what happened at your new school? What changed?"

"I met some people who changed me." He unclasped his hands and looked around the room. "I met someone who made me want to change who I was."

She gave Lucas an encouraging smile, even though he refused to look at her. Dr. Ryan could tell that she was starting to touch on the main reason Lucas was here. "Tell me about them."

Lucas smiled as his gaze was still fixated on Dr. Ryan's framed degrees. "Well, Farkle is my best friend. He's the smartest guy I've ever met. He's going to change the world one day. He welcomed me, no questions asked, and always gave me the benefit of the doubt. It didn't matter what...he was always there for me...he still is," Lucas looked down, "Even now. People like him are rare in this world."

"Sounds like a great friend to have."

"He's the best." Lucas cleared his throat. "Then there is Maya. Maya taught me patience. She was the first one I met, even though I didn't really meet her until later that day at school. She's like a sister to me. She's always...challenged me. She knows what I'm capable of and has always pushed me to exceed."

The therapist nodded. "Anyone else?"

He sighed. "Riley. Riley was the biggest influence. She was the first one I had an actual conversation with. She literally fell onto my lap on the subway on the way to school. She was sweet, nice, and completely innocent. She saw the world as this place where anything could happen, anything was possible. She made me want to be better than who I was. I didn't need to be angry anymore...I wasn't angry anymore. I didn't have to resort to violence in order to defend my friends. She taught me that. She taught me a lot," he ran a hand through his hair.

Dr. Ryan looked at Lucas for a long moment. She noticed that his demeanor had shifted. He seemed uncomfortable ever since she met him, but the way he suddenly seemed anxious yet gentle when he spoke of Riley indicated that there was a lot more to be said about her. "She sounds pretty amazing."

Lucas looked anywhere but at his therapist. This was what he dreaded the most about therapy, but it was also the whole reason he came to therapy. He had to work through this. He had to get the opinion of someone who didn't know either one of them. He had to know if she was the cause of his anger or, as he always suspected, she was the reason he wanted to become someone better...and now that she was gone he was just resorting back to the Lucas he was before he met her. "She's...everything. Then...and now." Feeling vulnerable, he finally looked the therapist in the eyes. "We were each other's first...everything. First date, first kiss, first love, first time...everything."

Bingo. This girl was the key. "How long were you two together?"

"Technically 7 years, but in my heart, it's been 10 years...since the day I met her...the day she fell onto my lap."

Dr. Ryan was taken aback. 10 years?! She had never heard of someone his age being in a relationship that long. She knew that this was a huge part of his life. "Wow...that's a long time...especially for someone so young."

He nodded. He had heard that from everyone he had met over the last few years. He knew it was impossible, but to him, it didn't seem hard to do...up until the last few years. Once he moved to Texas, their relationship definitely took a lot of work. "She's the one that suggested I come here."

"Why do you think that is?"

Lucas looked away. The last thing he wanted to admit, and here he was...about to admit it. "She was afraid of me. She had every reason to be, and even though she told me that she wasn't, I could see it in her eyes. The fear...of me. That's something I had never seen before from her...something I never thought I would see. The only thing worse than that look was the look she gave me the morning she came here to see me."

Dr. Ryan knew he was about to have a breakthrough. This young man seemed troubled, but he also seemed wise beyond his years. "What look was that, Lucas?"

Lucas felt his eyes tear up. He normally didn't cry, but in the rare instances that he did, he never did it in front of anyone. He quickly wiped his eyes and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, the memory of that look etched into his brain. "Like she didn't know who I was anymore. She looked at me like I was a complete stranger." He opened his eyes and made eye contact with his therapist. "Do you want to know what the worst feeling in the world is?"

Dr. Ryan nodded.

"Loving someone with every fiber of your being...dreaming about them night after night...wanting nothing more than to be where they were...and then...to have them look at you like they didn't know who you were. It's worse than them hating you. It's worse than anything else I can think of. The look of pure indifference."

"So why are you here now?"

"I don't want to be who I've become. I am different. I want to be who she thought I could be: kind, caring, happy. I want to get my priorities straight again. I got so caught up in the future that I lost sight of the present...of what was happening now. I want to be worthy of her."

"Well, Lucas, that sounds good, but you can't change yourself for a girl."

"I'm not." He finally leaned back in the chair. "I miss who I was, Dr. Ryan. I know I can't be that guy again, not after everything, but I don't like who I am now. I was at peace then. I was happy then. I'm not at peace now. I'm not happy now. I want to find that peace and happiness again."

Dr. Ryan gave him a small smile. A breakthrough. "You'll find it. I have no doubts."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "You're here, aren't you? That's always the biggest step."


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Who knew adding one chapter could change the next few chapters? I revised this one so much that it's a completely different chapter than the one I had originally written. Either way, here is Chapter 11 as promised. Without giving anything away, my faith in Rucas was a little shaken over the weekend, but I'm feeling better after rewatching some of my favorite GMW episodes and talking to some other shippers. If you're on instagram, follow me ouat2011. It's new, so not much is there. haha.**_

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Riley sat at her desk, headphones on, notepad in hand. Her love life may be in shambles, but her creativity never flowed so well. It only took three weeks to convince Maya to leave her and go out on a date with Josh. Riley was doing ok, better than Maya, Farkle, and everyone else expected her to be. She seemed to be at peace, and she really was. She knew she could've been depressed, angry, or indifferent about everything that had happened, but instead, she chose another route. She found herself again. She dragged Maya to yoga class four days a week. At first, she was her usualy clumsy self, barely able to do any of the poses, but once she found her center, she felt calmer and was able to execute the poses flawlessly. She felt like she was able to look deep inside of herself and remember who she was, who she wanted to be. Once she figured out that the optimistic version of herself still existed, she made a conscious effort to bring that part of herself out. It took a few weeks of continuous self discovery, but she was starting to have faith again. She was able to focus on school and her music. She was able to engage in social interactions with her friends, and she caught herself more than once actually having fun. Sure, sometimes she would end up crying in the shower or letting a tear or two escape when she heard a song that reminded her of him. That was natural, she knew that. She laughed at herself as she scanned through her music library. There was nothing natural about love…real, true love…ending. It seemed to be the most unnatural thing in the world-feeling like you are ripped in two. It was brutal. Even optimistic Riley couldn't put a positive spin on that. Yoga and self-reflection helped her to handle those moments. She realized that life was her's to command.

A skype notification interrupted her train of thought. She looked up and saw who had sent the video chat notification to her. "Yeah, right," she mumbled as she declined the invitation. "I'm doing ok, but I'm not THAT ok." A minute later, it popped up again. "Stop stalking me," she growled. She clicked around on her computer and set her skype preferences to block him. She clicked through a few tracks. "'Let Her Go'? Really shuffle? I thought we were friends." She quickly skipped it. She started listening to "Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers. "'It's better to feel pain, then nothing at all. The opposite of love is indifference.' True, but not exactly what I'm going for right now. Thanks anyway, The Lumineers." She clicked again. "Biggie! I love Biggie!" She bobbed her head to the beat of the song. "Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see-" Her skype notification interrupted her again. She smiled when she saw it was Farkle. She accepted the chat immediately. "Hey Farkle. You coming tonight? Maya said you might have something going on."

"Hey Riley," he laughed nervously. "Umm…yeah, we might be there." His eyes cut to something off camera briefly before they returned to the screen.

Riley didn't noticed the movement. "We," she raised an eyebrow. "You bringing a date? Is it Smackle?"

"No," he laughed nervously. Smackle and he were just friends, depsite Maya and Riley's various attempts to set them up over the years. He cleared his throat. "Can I ask you something?" He had never been this nervous to talk to one of his best friends. He knew she was going to kill him, but he had to try to help.

"Of course." Riley sat her notepad down next to her laptop so she could give him her full attention.

"I know that you've been better the last few weeks. You even seem...happy."

Riley smiled at him. "I have decided to let it go. I saw who I was, who I was turning into, and I decided that I didn't want to be that. I don't want to be cynical anymore. It's not who I am. I'm Riley, remember? Sunshine and rainbows and 'la la la la'."

Farkle laughed at her. "Yeah. I remember. I'm glad you're back."

"Thanks. I am too." She waited a moment. "That's not what you wanted to ask, was it?"

He shook his head. "I wanted to see how you were feeling before I asked."

"Asked what?" Riley started to feel a little nervous. It never took Farkle this long to ask her something.

Farkle scratched his head. There was no good way to bring this up except to just say it. "I told myself I wouldn't get involved in this, but...Riley..."

"Yeah?"

"I think you should talk to Lucas."

Riley frowned. That seemed completely out of place, especially coming from Farkle. No one had even mentioned it since Valentine's Day. She thought for a moment. "Farkle, I don't know where that is coming from, but...I don't really think there is much more to say. What's done is done. I've let go of my anger, but...he hurt me, Farkle." She looked down.

"I know he did, Riley. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think there was more to the story of what happened." When Farkle had first heard what happened, he was about ready to kill Lucas himself. He even gave him an earful when he first talked to him, but after hearing Lucas out, it all made sense. Farkle knew both of them. He had been there through it all. Once he heard Lucas's side of things, he knew that it couldn't be true. Lucas loved Riley even more than Farkle did. It was the only way Farkle was able to let Riley go in the first place. He knew she would be loved and protected.

"Farkle, I don't know..." She really didn't. On the one hand, she wanted closure. On the other hand, she wanted to stay in the bubble she had spent the last three weeks constructing.

"Just, please think about it, ok? I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think that this whole thing was just a misunderstanding." He paused for a moment. "Riley, I've always been protective of you and Maya. I would never let anything bad get to you...even if it meant losing my best friend. I've talked to the guy every day since it happened. He's changed."

"That's the problem, Farkle."

Farkle shook his head. "No, Riley. He's changed...like you have over the past few weeks."

Riley ran a hand through her hair. She really wasn't prepared for this conversation. She had spent the last three weeks trying to find some sort of peace in her life. Farkle had apparently found the one area where she wavered between the old and new Riley. "Maybe it just means we are better apart?"

"I don't believe that. And you might get mad at me for this, but I don't think that you believe that either. You two have always brought out the best in each other."

She frowned. "Uhh...have you been around us for the last two years, Farkle?"

"It's just the space, Riley. You're better together. We all know that...especially after everything that has happened."

"Farkle," she sighed, "I don't know."

He smiled. "That's a start. It's better than a 'no'."

She hadn't really thought about what she said until Farkle commented. Was she actually considering having a conversation with him? Was she ready for that? She had been so focused on herself the last few weeks that she really hadn't entertained the idea of speaking to Lucas at all. "Farkle?"

"Yeah, Riley?"

She closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. "You know me...do you think I might be ready?"

He smiled. "I think you both are."

Riley considered it for a moment. "Thanks Farkle."

* * *

After he spoke with Riley, Farkle walked into the living room of his apartment and sat down on the couch. He looked next to him. "I think she'll talk to you."

Lucas turned to him, hope in his eyes. "Really?"

Farkle leaned back as he put his feet on the coffee table. "She's changed, Lucas. She's...Riley again. I think the old Riley never would've spoken to you again, but this Riley...she always seems to see the best in everyone."

"Did you tell her I was here? Should I go over there now?" He moved to stand up, but Farkle grabbed his arm.

"She doesn't know. It was all I could do to ask her if she would consider talking with you. I just couldn't tell her you were here too. I didn't want to push her. She's been ok the last few weeks, but the last thing I want to do is set her back."

Lucas sat back down. "So, what should I do?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've done my job."

"Thanks, Farkle. Thank you for believing me." Having Josh and Farkle tell him that they believed him meant a lot to Lucas. He knew what the situation looked like. He was just hopeful that maybe he could explain it all to Riley. That was all he wanted. Just a chance to explain it.

"Lucas, I knew there was more to the story. I also know that you've changed. You're not the same guy."

He nodded. "I'm not."

They were silent for a few minutes before Farkle spoke. "Maybe you need to talk to Maya first? She's been joined at the hip with Riley since it happened. You probably won't get through to Riley until you talk to Maya. If you can get her to understand, then she might be able to help Riley to understand everything."

* * *

Riley took a deep breath before she walked onto the stage that night. This was only her second show since she ditched her 'mysterious' persona, and although she felt a little nervous, she was happier. She wore a black and white military jacket over a simple teal dress and black wedges. It wasn't as flashy as her former outfits, but she felt like herself again. She felt a little more vulnerable to the crowd, but she liked it. She liked being able to open herself up like that to everyone. Everyone who loved 'DJ Riley' now saw 'Riley Matthews' and, so far, people seemed to accept her. She scanned the crowd as she slid her headphones on. Just as she was about to look down to begin her set, she saw him. Even in a crowd of 500 people, she could spot those emerald eyes anywhere. They had haunted her dreams for almost half of her life now. Her breath hitched, her heart slammed into her chest. Time seemed to stand still. A million thoughts ran through her head, but at the same time, she couldn't think at all. After a moment, one coherent thought formed in her head: Lucas Friar was in New York. Lucas Friar was in the same room as her. Lucas Friar was staring at her the way he once did: as if she were the only person in the world.

* * *

Maya sat next to Josh during Riley's first set. She bobbed her head to the beat of the song as she sipped on her beer. She was slowly starting to believe that Riley would be ok, that she would not only survive the break up, but that she would come out of it a better person. Her best friend never ceased to amaze her. Just when she thought she knew everything about Riley Matthews, she surprised her yet again. Maya thought it would be like when Lucas and her broke up in high school. She would shut down...shut everyone out. She didn't though. She seemed to open up more. She became optimistic about the world again, and began to see the good in people again. Maya thought she was faking it at first, but when she saw Riley singing and dancing in the dorm room using a hairbrush as a microphone, she was convinced that Riley wasn't faking anything. She really was ok.

Maya looked beside her at Amanda and John. Both of them had been great friends over the last few weeks. They all went out together as a group. They had Maya, Riley, Farkle, and Josh over for dinner a few times and tried to keep the conversations light. Maya looked next to her and saw her boyfriend on his phone. He didn't look very happy. "What's wrong," she yelled.

Josh slid his phone in his pocket and turned to her. "You know how much my job means to me, right?"

Maya nodded. Where did that come from?

"Maya, please...don't make a scene." He couldn't believe what was about to happen. He just hoped his girlfriend wouldn't launch herself at her best friend's exboyfriend.

"Don't make a scene? Josh, what is going," she looked out of her corner of her eye and saw two men approach them. "Oh, hell no," she shrieked. She took a few steps forward. She knew she was getting ready to kill someone...and that someone was one Lucas Friar.

"Maya, please," Josh pleaded as he moved to stand in front of her, blocking her view of Lucas and Farkle.

Maya looked at her boyfriend. "Did you know about this?!"

"I just found out."

"Hey, everyone," Farkle greeted as Lucas and he reached the VIP section of the club. He slid his hands into his pockets, a nervous habit he had picked up in recent years. He knew Maya was going to kill him.

"Farkle," Maya sneered, "What is going on?"

"Hey, Maya," Lucas said. He looked at the others, "Josh, John, Amanda."

John and Amanda exchanged glances. "Hey Lucas," John greeted.

"What are you doing here," Maya growled. "Haven't you done enough?"

"Maya," Josh warned.

Maya looked at her boyfriend. "What, Josh? Your niece had heart heart shattered because of this...this...," she waved her arm in his general direction as she searched for the right word. When she couldn't find one, she became more frustrated. She peered around her boyfriend to look at Lucas. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to her about what happened. The whole story."

"Oh, I feel like we already know the whole story. Spare us the gory details." Maya rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Maya, that's not the whole story," Farkle spoke up.

"Please just listen to him," Josh added. "For me?"

Maya looked at everyone around her. Her eyes finally landed on Lucas's. "Fine," she huffed. Josh helped her down from the VIP platform. "You have 10 minutes to convince me. Let's go outside so I can listen."

* * *

Maya sat down at one of the tables on the patio. She eyed Lucas as he sat across from her. "Ok, Lucas, 10 minutes."

Lucas didn't even make a comment on the fact that this was only the fifth time she had ever called him by his name. It wasn't important. Riley was important. Her heart was important. "Nic and I—"

"Nicole," Maya corrected before taking a sip of her beer.

Lucas sighed. "Nicole. Nicole and I stayed up all night working on a project for our anatomy class." Maya snorted, but Lucas ignored her. "We had decided to take a small break because we were exhausted. So I let her sleep in my room and I was going to sleep on the couch. Well, I must've slept through the alarm because I woke up four hours later to Riley knocking on the door. Nicole came out in one of my shirts that I guess she found in my closet. After Riley left and I came back to the apartment, I confronted Nicole. I had known for awhile that she had a small crush on me, but she told me that she wanted to be with me…that we were a better fit. We had spent all of this time together already, so it just made sense to her. She was there and Riley was in New York. She said she wanted to push me into making a choice about it, so she decided to do what she did."

Maya frowned. "You were trying to decide between them?"

He shook his head. "There was no choice to make, Maya. I had already told her that I only wanted Riley. She's been it for me from the beginning. Apparently Nicole thought I should reconsider, so she decided to sabotage my relationship with Riley."

Maya thought about it for a moment. "This seems kind of farfetched."

"I know. It's the truth though. Maya, I would never cheat on Riley. She is everything to me."

"She hasn't been for awhile, though. At least you haven't really shown it. There have been flashes, but you've been constantly ignoring her and choosing school, the ranch, and Nicole over her time and time again." She took another sip of her beer.

"I know. I was stupid. I took advantage of the fact that she was always there. I took on too much." He let out a long breath. "The only other thing I have is an email from Nicole apologizing for the whole thing. I know you're going to think it's a fake, but it's all I have to prove my innocence in this whole thing." He leaned forward. "Maya, you've known me for 10 years now. You know this isn't me. I'm not this guy."

"I know that the Lucas I knew in New York wouldn't do that. I don't know Texas Lucas."

"Same guy…a lot dumber, a little angrier apparently, but just as faithful. Why would I risk losing the best thing in my life? Maya, I love her. She really is everything to me. It's why I'm here. It's why I'm staying here until she hears me out. No matter how long it takes."

"What about school?"

He shrugged. "None of it is worth anything without her. I'll stay here forever if that's what it takes."

Maya stared at him for a long time. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ok, fine. I believe you."

Lucas was surprised. He figured Maya would put him through an entire interrogation. "You do?"

She nodded. "It never made sense to me. We all saw how hard you worked to try to get her back and you went to NYU for two years just to be with her." She paused for a moment. "I know things have been rough the past two years, but I never thought you'd be the type to cheat. And you just said that you would throw away everything you've worked for the last four years in order to get a chance for her to hear you out. Cheaters don't do that."

"I would never hurt her like that. I couldn't."

She took another swig of her beer. "So what's the plan? This isn't like last time. She's not depressed. She seems…normal."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know."

* * *

Once she finished her gig, Riley slowly made her way over to her friends. A lot of things ran through her mind as she spun. Should she talk to him? Should she run in the other direction? Should she yell, scream, and cry at him until he understood how she felt when it all happened? As she walked toward the group, she still wasn't sure how she would react. She knew she couldn't run forever, and she didn't want to, but was she ready for this? Was she ready to look him in the eyes and hear his side of everything? She knew the old Riley wouldn't have. Would the new Riley listen? Would the new Riley understand? She didn't know. She didn't know if she could even bear to look at him, let alone have a conversation with him.

"Great set, Riles," John told her as he saw her approach the group.

"Thanks," she smiled as she hugged him and Amanda.

"You did great, Riley," Farkle told her as he hugged her. He prayed silently that she wouldn't kill him when she found out Lucas was there. He looked around. Maya and he had been gone for awhile now. He silently hoped Maya hadn't killed him.

"Thank you," she said. She looked around. Josh, Maya, and, persumably, Lucas were nowhere to be seen. "Where is everyone else?"

"Josh is with the club owner," Amanda told her.

"And Maya is with..." John trailed off.

Riley nodded. "Let me guess," she put a finger to her lips, "Lucas."

Farkle frowned. "You know he's here?" How was that possible?

"I saw him before I started," Riley told him. "Maya and him are talking?"

Farkle nodded. _'Unless she killed him.'_

"Maybe you can perform miracles," she mumbled.

Josh walked toward the group. He hugged his niece. "You did great, Riley."

She smiled at him. "Thanks. Was the owner ok with how I look now?" She gestured toward her outfit.

"He's fine. You packed the place, everyone had a great time, as usual. Riley, it's ok to be yourself." Josh was proud of his niece for choosing to be herself on the stage. He understood why she wanted to be someone different, but he was worried that she was starting to become 'DJ Riley' in her personal life. It was the last thing he wanted. His niece was a special person. Her light needed to shine. She wasn't supposed to be one of the cynical ones.

She nodded. "Good. I feel more comfortable like this." She looked around the room. She noticed Maya and Lucas walking towards them. Riley held her breath and closed her eyes. She had to remain centered, calm. She couldn't run. She didn't want to run. She slowly opened her eyes and watched as the pair moved closer to her.

Maya gave Riley a big hug when they reached the group. "You were great...at least the part I heard."

"Thanks." Riley pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest. She took a deep, steady breath. She could do this.

Lucas wasn't sure what to say. Ten years of sharing everything with this woman, and he was nervous to see her. He wasn't sure how to even begin to try to speak with her. The last look she gave him flashed in front of him. That look of indifference. He shook his head to try to get that image to go away. He looked at her again. She didn't look indifferent. She didn't look happy to see him by any means, but she definitely didn't seem indifferent. Knowing one of them had to speak, and knowing it probably wasn't going to be her, he cleared his throat. "Hey." It was all he could think of.

Riley ran a hand through her hair. That was all he had to say? She took another deep breath. "Hi."

Maya looked between the two. "Really? We're back to this?" She looked at Lucas. He looked scared to death. She looked at Riley who looked like she was getting ready to bolt. Maya sighed and looked back at Lucas. "You. Say something."

Lucas swallowed. "Riley, can we talk? Please?"

There. It was out there. Now the ball was in her court. Lucas was fully prepared to stay in the city no matter how long it took for her to speak to him. Now that he was learning who he was, he also learned how much she really meant to him. He didn't need her like he once did, Dr. Ryan helped him see that. Instead, he wanted her to be in his life. He wanted her to be the top priority in his life. He used to think needing her was a sure sign that they were meant to be, but it wasn't. Needing someone in order to feel happy and fulfilled is a sign of co-dependence. Wanting someone in your life; however, is knowing that you can survive without them, but also knowing that you don't want to. He knew he could have a good life without Riley Matthews in it. He also knew he could have a better life with Riley Matthews by his side. Could he survive without Riley? Yes. Did he want to? No. He waited on bated breath for her answer.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: There is another author's note at the end of this chapter, please read it and let me know your thoughts. Also, sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors. My spell check decided to stop working like three chapters ago. I've caught a few things, but I'm only human, so I know I had to have made some errors.**_

* * *

Chapter 12

It was around 11 the next morning when Riley and Maya stood outside of Farkle's apartment. Riley raised her fist to knock on the door, but didn't. She slowly lowered her fist. She thought about it for a moment before she attempted to do it again. She lowered her hand again. She turned to Maya. "Maya...I don't think I can do this."

"Yes, you can. Look...I normally wouldn't push you...not when it comes to things like this, but Riley, I feel like this is something you might regret not doing. You don't have to believe him, you don't have to run into his arms like nothing happened. Just listen. That's all he asked. And you're not doing it for him, you're doing it for yourself. One conversation. It'll either be the beginning of something or it'll bring you closure and allow you to begin something else."

Riley nodded. "You believe him though."

Maya slipped her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and rocked on her heels. "I do. I wouldn't be pushing you to talk to him if I didn't, but I also don't want that to influence what you do. This is your life. At the very least, you deserve closure."

"Yeah. You're right." She raised her fist and knocked on the door before she had a chance to change her mind. As soon as she knocked, she started to second guess herself again.

Maya put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You got this. And Farkle and I are both here just in case."

Riley gave her a small smile.

The apartment door opened. "'Morning ladies," Farkle greeted as he allowed them in.

"Oh my God," Maya moaned as she entered the apartment, "What is that smell?"

Farkle smiled at them. "Well, it is Sunday...and around time for brunch."

Maya's stomach growled. "He's making breakfast," she asked hopefully.

Farkle nodded. "Just like when he lived here." He led the way toward the kitchen where he motioned for the girls to sit on the stools by the kitchen counter.

Once Lucas felt he had the food under control, he turned to greet the girls. "Good morning."

"Good morning," they replied in unison.

"What's on the menu this morning, Huckleberry," Maya asked as she tried to peer at the stove behind him.

Lucas chuckled. He'd never admit this to anyone, but he was relieved to hear Maya call him by one of his pet names. "Pancakes."

She frowned. "Really, Ranger Rick? Back to that?"

He laughed as he remembered the one nickname he tried to give her in 8th grade. She didn't take it so well. "No, really. Pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs...whatever else you guys want." He turned his attention back to the food.

Riley was quiet. She knew everyone thought the same thing. She just didn't know how to act at the moment. She couldn't act like everything was normal, it wasn't. At the same time, it felt like old times. The four of them would always eat Sunday brunch together. Lucas would always cook it. She didn't realize how much she missed that until she walked into Farkle's apartment and a thousand memories rushed to her mind.

It was only a few more minutes until Lucas had finished the first batch of pancakes. He put them all on a plate and sat them on the counter before he turned to grab plates for everyone. He moved the sausage, bacon, and eggs over to the counter as well. "Go ahead and dig in. I've got one more batch of pancakes and I'll be done."

Farkle and Maya didn't need another invitation. They almost got into a fist fight over the food. Riley shook her head. Some things never changed. After they grabbed their food and took a few bites, they looked at Riley. "Hungry, Riley," Farkle asked her.

She shook her head. "Not really." She looked at the food. She knew it would be rude not to eat anything though. He did go through all the effort. She put one pancake and piece of bacon on her plate.

Maya moaned as she chewed the food, "Ranger Rick, I definitely miss your cooking."

He smiled as he turned back around to face the group.. "Thanks. I figured we all could use a good breakfast." He walked over to the coffee pot and poured two cups.

"So Riley, when's your next gig," Farkle asked her as took a sip of his coffee.

Riley welcomed the conversation. It was much better than the awkward silence. "Next Saturday. Josh has them lined up every weekend til graduation." She smiled at Lucas when he handed her a cup of coffee. "Thanks," she told him as she took the cup from him.

He smiled at Riley as he handed Maya the other cup of coffee.

"That's great," Farkle told Riley, "Are you going to keep doing it when you go to grad school?"

Riley almost choked on her coffee. She cut her eyes over to Lucas who had turned to check on the last batch of pancakes. "Uh…ah…I haven't figured all of that yet," she sputtered. She sat the cup down on the counter as she stared at the food on her plate.

Lucas didn't look away from what he was doing when he spoke, "You got into grad school?"

"Uh…yeah. NYU," she took a small bite of the bacon.

"Yeah, she got in for counseling," Maya added

He nodded. "When did that happen?"

"Awhile back," Riley answered. Was this really happening right now?

"It was before Christmas, right, Riley," Farkle asked, oblivious to the fact that this appeared to be news to Lucas. Farkle took another bite of his food.

Lucas spun to face Riley. "Before Christmas?"

She looked away, but nodded.

Maya looked between Lucas and Riley. Oh boy. There was something else they had to talk about. She looked over at Farkle who still seemed completely oblivious to the tension in the room. She thought about throwing a piece of sausage at him, but decided that the food was too delicious to waste.

* * *

The four shared a quiet breakfast, with the occasional compliments to the chef. After they finished, Maya and Farkle offered to do the dishes. They both knew the reason why they had all gathered together. Riley and Lucas needed to talk...without an audience. Initially, Maya wasn't planning on even coming to Farkle's, but Riley begged her. She said she would feel more comfortable if she knew Maya was there to back her up, if she needed it. Maya and Riley both knew she wouldn't, but they also knew that Riley needed a support system.

After a few moments of awkward silence between them, Lucas cleared his throat. "Are you ready to talk?"

She nodded. "It's kind of warm outside. Random heat wave in the middle of March. Do you want to sit outside? That way it can be more private."

"Sure."

They both stood up. Riley turned to grab her sunglasses and cup of coffee. Another reason she wanted to talk to him outside was so that she could have the excuse to wear her sunglasses. Somehow she felt that wearing them would protect her somehow, keep her guarded. He wouldn't be able to look into her eyes. She felt like he wouldn't be able to see into her soul, something he had always managed to do, ever since that day in the library ten years ago...when they first connected.

* * *

Once outside, they both moved the chairs so they could face once another. They both sat their cups of coffee on the side table. Riley ran a hand through her hair. "So maybe it's not as warm as I thought."

"Are you cold?"

"I'll be fine," she said as she shivered.

"I'll be right back," he told her as he went back inside. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and walked back outside. "Here," he said as he handed it to her.

"Thank you," she told him as she sat down.

"Don't mention it." He sat down on the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees, as he clasped his hands together in front of him. "Riley, I feel like we can either try awkwardly to ease into this or I could just say what I need to say."

She nodded. "Yeah. I feel like we are way past awkward at this point in our lives. Let's just," she took a deep breath as she looked over at the busy street below. She couldn't look at him right now. She thought she would be composed, but she wasn't. She started to debate how much it would hurt if she jumped from the balcony onto the street. She shook her head. No. She had to be mature. She couldn't run from this anymore. She had to know everything in order to attain the peace in her life that she desperately wanted. "Talk."

Lucas tried to compose his thoughts. He had been dreaming about this conversation for the past three weeks. He didn't want to screw it up. This was his one chance to try to get her back. He took a deep breath. "The night before you came, Nicole and I stayed up most of the night working on a project for our anatomy class. We both got pretty burned out so I suggested that we sleep for a few hours before trying to finish it up. I offered to let her sleep in my room, while I took the couch." He saw Riley shift uncomfortably. What was she thinking? Was she getting ready to leave? He knew he had to talk fast. "I must have slept through the alarm because I woke up to you knocking on the door." He paused again to try to gauge her reaction. When he realized he couldn't read her, he decided to continue, "Riley, I didn't do anything with her. I've never done anything with her."

Riley sat there for a few moments. She wasn't exactly surprised by what he was telling her. She didn't expect him to own up to anything. She knew this was going to be a long conversation. She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to say. She also knew that he had questions too. She knew this might be the toughest conversation she would ever have in her life. She still didn't look over at him. She just stared at the street below. "So, why did she come out only wearing one of your shirts?"

He took a deep breath. "Ok...I'm going to lay everything on the table." He saw her flinch. "I've known for awhile that she had a crush on me. I told her that I had a girlfriend and that wasn't going to change…ever. I don't think she appreciated it very much, because when I confronted her after you left, she admitted that she did it to try to break us up." He rubbed the back of his neck. He felt like such an idiot. He knew Nicole had a crush on him. He just thought that they could still work together and that it would be ok. He thought she would get over it. "I kicked her out. And, Riley, she's not my lab partner anymore. I spoke with my professor about it and even told him I would do all the work on my own. I just could not work with her."

Riley was silent. A million things ran through her mind. When she thought about what to ask him, only one question came to mind. "Why didn't you tell me she was girl?"

"I didn't think about it."

Riley scoffed. She wasn't about to buy that.

He sighed. It was time to be completely honest. He didn't want to lie to her anymore. He couldn't. He knew that she would never trust him again if he wasn't completely honest at this moment. He looked down at his hands. "I didn't want you to worry. Things were platonic between Nicole and I for a very long time. And even after she said she had feelings for me, I tried to keep them platonic. We worked well together and I was used to working with her. We knew each others' schedules and seemed to have the same work ethic. It just seemed easier to stay lab partners instead of trying to find someone else and try to coordinate schedules...and then what if I ended up with someone who didn't care to do any of the work." He stopped when he realized he was rambling. All of that wasn't important. He looked up at her. She still wouldn't look at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have."

Riley folded her arms against her chest. "Yeah, you really should have."

"Do…do you believe me?" After a few moments of painful silence, he rubbed the back of his neck. "Riley, I swear-"

"I don't know," she blurted out. She listened to everything he had said. She tried to keep an open mind about it all. It was who she was, who she wanted to be. She wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt. This was asking a lot though. This was going to take a big leap of faith. Riley wasn't sure if it was a leap she was willing to take. She slowly turned her head to look at him. "If you would've asked me a year ago…even six months ago, I would…no question about it. The past few months have been so rough with us though. I felt like I didn't know who you were anymore. It made me feel…like maybe…we wouldn't make it. I was starting to lose myself too. I just got resentful. I resented your school, your family, your lab partner...even you. You had all of these other things going on...other things you were spending all of your time on...and I got none of that time. And I started to resent you for it. And I felt awful for how I felt because I know how hard you were working. School, the ranch, the internship. You were working toward your future. You knew what you wanted and you were out there making it happen...without me." She shifted slightly in her seat. "Lucas, you were always my top priority and I felt that I wasn't even on your list."

Now Lucas was the one who couldn't look at her. He knew that he was screwing things up with her before she walked into his apartment that morning. He didn't fully realize how bad it was until he heard her verbalize it. Her voice was steady the whole time she spoke, but he knew that she was still very upset about it. He didn't blame her one bit for that. "Is that why you didn't tell me about grad school?"

She nodded even though she knew that he wasn't looking at her. She knew she was unloading two years of frustration on him right now, but she knew that he knew that all of the cards had to be put on the table. They had to come clean about everything, every emotion, every resentment. "Yeah. And the subject of my life here never really came up in conversation." She knew that one had to hurt, but she knew that he needed to know how she had felt for so long.

Lucas looked down at the crowded street. He knew he had to bring this up since they were on the subject of Riley's post undergraduate options. "And not telling me that you got into Texas A&M?"

She eyed him for a moment. How was it possible that he knew that? Only a few people knew. "How did you know? Did Maya tell you?"

He leaned back in his chair. "No. I wrote you a letter after you left my apartment, and when I went to stick it in your luggage, I accidentally knocked it over and it fell out. I wasn't going to read it but then I saw that it was from the admissions office." He looked over at her. His heart pounded in his chest. Truthfully, he thought she would've ended the conversation long ago. He was so grateful that she was actually listening to him and confronting him about everything. "Is that why you came?"

She slowly nodded. "One reason. I wanted to look at the campus. More than anything though I just wanted to see you…to try to work this whole thing out." She took a sip of her coffee, the first sip since they stepped outside. That's when she noticed her hands were shaking. She sat the cup down and brought her knees to her chest. She knew it wasn't the cold that made her hands shake. She was scared. She felt completely vulnerable.

"And as soon as you get there, you saw that." He looked down again. He couldn't look at her when he thought about what she thought she saw. He was so worried that she would look at him in the same way that she did when she left that day. He never wanted her to be indifferent to him. He could tell by her body language that she was nervous. He used to be able to read her like a book. He felt like he knew what was on her mind at all times. It was something he slowly picked up over the years, but was fully capable of once they became intimate. Over the last six months; however, he had lost that. It was a source of frustration for him. It felt like that intimacy they shared, that connection had been lost. He still couldn't read her, but he knew her well enough to know that she was uncomfortable. "Riley," his voice was hoarse. He couldn't help it. All of the emotions of the last few weeks had built up inside of him. He would give anything for her to believe him. "I swear nothing happened. You have to believe me."

Riley stayed silent. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few minutes as she tried to remain centered while she began to search her heart. This was it. This was the moment. After everything she saw and now, after hearing his side of things, she had a decision to make. Did she believe him? She took another deep breath. The first thing her mind saw was the image of Nicole clad only in Lucas's shirt. She took another deep breath. Something else she suddenly remembered came to her mind. She didn't think of it at the time, but it was there all along. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the blanket wrapped around her. "The blanket," she said softly as the pieces from that day suddenly clicked in her mind.

He looked up at her. "What?" What was going through her mind?

She continued to look at the blanket that was wrapped around her. "The blanket. I-I remember seeing one rumpled on the couch…and there was a pillow too." She didn't comprehend it at the time. At the time, all she thought about was the half naked guy and girl in front of her. Riley looked over at him as she moved her sunglasses to the top of her head. Their eyes connected. She wasn't nervous or scared to look him in the eye. She was hopeful. "You didn't sleep with her," she said softly.

Was he dreaming? Did she just say that? Did she actually believe him? He had to know for sure. He had to hear it again. He needed to know he wasn't dreaming. "I didn't. Riley, I swear I never did anything with her."

She didn't break eye contact with him. "I believe you, Lucas."

She had said it. The words he had dreamed about for almost a month. She believed him. He stood up and walked over to where she sat. He knelt down in front of her. He had to hear it again. "You believe me?"

"Yes."

He reached for her hand. "Thank God."

She looked down at their hands which were clasped together. "We still have things we have to talk about," she told him seriously. She saw his smile falter.

He slowly stood up, detached his hand from her's and walked back to his seat. He should've known that it wasn't going to be that easy. What she said was true. They still had a lot to work through. He was still hopeful that they could work through it. Now the biggest question he had for her was if she wanted to work through it.

A big part of Riley just wanted to jump into his arms, to feel comfort from him for everything that had happened. The logical side of Riley, the side that fiercely protected her heart knew that there was more to discuss. "What I thought had happened between Nicole and you was what pushed me over the edge, but Lucas, I was walking that line for awhile. If you want us to be together, we have to talk about all of this stuff."

He nodded. He knew the only way they were going to make it, or even hope to make it was to actively work on it. "I know we do, and I do, Riley. I want us to be together. I want us happy. I want to make you happy."

She grabbed her coffee mug and took a sip of the now cool beverage. "Well, my spring break is next week. I haven't made a decision about school yet. I've been focused on getting myself straight first." She paused for a moment. "I still want to visit A&M before deciding where I spend the next two years of my life." She saw his face light up. "And that's one thing that we need to talk about. I'm not going to make the decision based off of where you are. I can't. I want to find the right fit for me. So that can't be an argument that you throw in my face if I decide to stay here."

He couldn't believe that she was still considering A&M. He knew that it would be a difficult decision for her either way. It was for him. If Riley hadn't pushed him into the right decision, he knew he would've stayed in the city. He might have resented her for it one day. He wasn't about to push her on this one. This would be her decision fully. "It won't be. I'll support whatever decision you make."

"Thank you." She thought for a moment about the next thing they needed to discuss. She felt awkward to bring this up, but this was the source of every problem they had over the last few years. "This may seem really selfish, but you need to figure out a work/life balance."

"Already got it covered," he told her. When he saw the surprised look in her eyes, he continued, "My uncle has been taking on more and more responsibilities at the ranch. I've already told him that I will help when I can, but I can't be there every day when I'm not in class. I also spoke with Dr. Lunsford. I told him I wouldn't be able to help him this summer."

Riley couldn't believe what she was hearing. The last thing she wanted was for him to give up everything. She just wanted him to figure out some kind of way to have a life outside of work and school. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm taking the summer off. I need it. I got completely burned out and became someone I didn't recognize." He was silent for a moment. He had only admitted that to his therapist. He hated who he had become. He didn't recognize the person he had become. He had never considered himself a workaholic. He always thought he knew how to balance work and life. Clearly he lost sight of that, along with some other things. "I was planning on coming back to the city. I need to be around the people who mean the most to me and whom I've missed over the last two years. And just so _you_ know, I'm doing this for me. I need a break."

She nodded. "You do. I think you've put yourself under too much pressure and stress."

"I know I have. I know it's why I've been short with you in the past." He sat forward in his seat. "I'm sorry about that. Looking back on everything, I know I've had a bad attitude the last few months. I think it all came from the pressure I put myself under."

"It's ok," she told him honestly. "I felt bad because I just didn't know how to help you." She bit her lip. There was something else she wanted to ask him. There was no subtle way to bring it up. "Have you made an appointment to talk to someone about what happened with John?"

He looked over at her. "I've been going three times a week for the last three weeks."

Riley was shocked. She figured that he didn't think that he needed to talk to anyone, that he could control his anger. Farkle was right. The guy who sat in front of her was definitely a different person than the one she had known the last six months. "Really?"

"Yeah, I even got a referral for a therapist here, so I could still go while I'm in the city." The last thing he wanted was to interrupt the progress he was making with his therapist. Dr. Ryan had a collegue in the city that she felt he could speak with that wouldn't interrupt his progress.

That surprised Riley even more. He really seemed to be making an effort to figure things out. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"How's it going?" She was hesitant to ask him, because she knew it was something completely personal and private for him. She just wanted to know if he was ok, if this was somehow helping him figure out his emotions.

"Strange at first, but I'm glad I went. I feel like I'm working through a lot of things. She told me the same thing that you've been saying for months. I took on too much and put too much pressure on myself."

She gave him an encouraging smile. She was so proud of him at the moment. He really seemed to have come a long way with everything in just a few weeks. Maybe what everyone says is true: sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can rebuild. "I'm glad you're going. How long are you here for?"

"Until next Sunday."

She nodded her head. The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. "That's when I was planning on going to Austin."

He hadn't seen her smile in so long. His heart fluttered when he saw it. He couldn't help but grin at her. "Maybe we are on the same flight?"

"Maybe we can be."

"Riley," he took a deep breath. He knew she wanted to take it slow, but he had to tell her how he felt about her. "I love you. You're the only one for me...always have been and always will be. You're everything I could ever want or need and so much more. And I'll spend every day for the rest of my days making sure that you know that."

"Lucas," she said quietly as she looked away for a moment. She had been dreaming about those words for a long time, but she also knew that in order to make things right again, they had to ease back into it. "I really want to try to take it slow. We can't just jump back into everything."

"I understand." He waited a beat. "So, what are you doing today?"

She laughed. "That's taking it slow?" When he looked at her expectantly, she rolled her eyes. "I booked a few hours at the studio on campus to work. They have better equipment than I do."

"What time?"

"2-6." She pulled her phone out of her back pocket to check the time. When she saw it was nearly 1:30, she unfolded herself from the blanket and stood up. "I hate to do this, but I need to go." She folded the blanket. Once finished, she hugged it to herself and leaned back on the balcony railing as she faced him fully.

He looked up at her. "Can I come and watch for awhile? I have a therapy appointment at 4, but I would like to come watch."

She smiled. "I'd like that."

* * *

"Ok," Riley began when they entered the studio, "Do you just want to watch?" She pulled her laptop out of her bag and sat it on the table.

He shook his head. He really wanted to try to understand her love of DJing. It seemed to be such a big part of who she was now. He wanted her to be able to open up to him about it, to be able to share it with him. "No, I want to know how you do it. Teach me."

She was a little surprised by his statement, but impressed at the same time. So far, so good. She smiled at him. "Ok. Come here." She turned on her computer and plugged it into the equipment. She explained the general concept of how things worked, how to control the volume, the tempo, the fades. "I'll demonstrate and then I'm going to make you try." She hit shuffle on her library. "Foster the People...perfect choice to start on." She closed her eyes and hummed along to the beat as she tapped her foot on the floor. Slowly, she started to change the tempo.

Lucas was mesmerized as he watched her. He had never seen her construct a new track. He felt like he was invited to be a part of the most personal side of her. She seemed like she was in another world as she listened to the music. He walked up beside her and just watched. She looked so peaceful, so free. Her eyes were still closed, a smile played at her lips as her head swayed side to side.

Halfway through the song, Riley turned to Lucas and grabbed his hands. She stepped back and nudged him to stand where she stood. She guided his hands to the controls from where she stood behind him. "Close your eyes," she said softly, "Just listen. You'll feel it." She rested her hands on top of his for a few seconds, just until she felt he was getting more comfortable with changing the tempo and adding a few beats to the song. Once she felt him gain a little more confidence with it, she slowly moved her hands away from his so he knew he was in full control.

He kept his eyes closed as he messed around with the equipment. At first he missed a few beats and he slowed the tempo too far down, but after a minute of getting used to it, he started to enjoy it. He began to understand why Riley loved it so much. It was a rush to be able to control the feel of the song. He couldn't imagine how crazy it must feel to combine multiple tracks like she normally did.

Once the song ended, he turned to face her. She was still right behind him. They were so close to each other. He could hear her breathing. They hadn't been that close to one another in months. "Thank you," he told her.

She had to crane her neck up to look at him. "For what?"

He ached to take her in his arms, to hold her, to know that everything was going to be all right...they they would be all right. He refrained. She wanted to move slow and he was going to respect that. He felt closer to her now, not just physically, but on that unique level that he had only ever been able to have with her. "For sharing this side of you with me. I know it took a lot. Music is such a personal thing to you."

She smiled at him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being open to it." She took a small step toward him, closing the final sliver of space between them. "For making me feel comfortable sharing this side of me with you. It's a great feeling." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It is," he agreed as he moved to place his hands on her waist. "Not that I mind this at all, but I thought you wanted to take things slowly?"

She looked into his eyes for a long moment. She wanted to tell him that the last few minutes have been the most honest, the most open, the most intense, and the most charged that she had felt with him since he moved to Texas. She wanted to tell him that she felt that connection with him again...the one where it felt like he could read her and she could read him. She wanted to tell him that her heart felt completely open to him and that she knew that his heart was just as open to her. She could feel it. She could feel the other half of her click into place. She wanted to tell him that she found the missing puzzle piece in her transformation back into the best possible version of herself: it was him. She wanted to tell him everything she was feeling. When she opened her mouth to speak, only three words came out. "Just kiss me."

He needed no other invitation. He moved his hands to the small of her back as he gently pushed her toward him. He bent his head down to capture her lips with his. It was intended to be a soft, gentle kiss, a promise of the future that laid before them, but instead, Riley pulled him even closer to her.

She smiled against his lips. She had missed so many things about him, and this was definitely one of them. It had been a few years since he had kissed her like this...just as he did when he crawled into her bedroom window that rainy day that he was supposed to go to Texas, but didn't. This was definitely her Lucas. She never wanted him to leave.

Lucas tried to channel every emotion he felt in that moment into the kiss. He needed her to know how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be with her. She was the only one for him, always was, always will be. He never wanted her to doubt his loyalty again. He vowed in that moment to never give her a reason to again. She was different. He could tell just in the small amount of time that he had been around her today. She seemed like Riley, his Riley...the eternal optimist, the hopeful dreamer, the most generous and most compassionate person he had ever or will ever hope to meet. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to be away from her again, but he wasn't about to think about that in that moment. No, in that moment, he was there, holding the woman of his dreams, daring anyone to tell him to let go.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Uhh...I have more of the story to post, but I think I unintentionally just finished "Go". So, do you guys (a) want to read it, and if so do you (b) want me to just continue with this or (c) make this bad boy a trilogy? If the answer is c, I have to warn you that I will need some time to develop what I have into a full blown story...and even then, I can't guarantee at the moment that I would be able to do that. It'll take some brainstorming, but I'm totally willing to do that. I'm asking because, I really, really like the way I ended this chapter. I feel like it seriously could be the end of "Go". The GMW writers are right about one thing: sometimes the stories write themselves.**_


	13. Note

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know that I did decide to write a third part to the "Stay" series. Prologue is up now. I hope you guys enjoy it. :)


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